4/29/11

Rotten News Day

When I picked up the morning paper yesterday and started to read it, I quickly noticed that some sort of a news blackout had been imposed except for pages and pages about the NFL Draft and some spectacle going on in London. The latter involved some family named Royal. I'm a little confused as to whether a beheading , a family reunion,an orgy or a  wedding was to take place. Rather than sort out the details , I decided to concentrate on the NFL Draft which proved even more confusing than the Royal family affair.

Hoping to clarify what was going on with the NFL Draft, I made plans  to tune in the experts on ESPN later in the day. Big mistake! If the accounts of the draft in the papers confused me, the football analysts on ESPN simply blew my mind. After the first few minutes I called Time Warner to verify whether or not the program was being televised in English. Their automated phone system got me to someone with an Indian accent who volunteered to add HBO to my account at half price for six months. I hung up while I was still solvent and returned to the TV set. Some macho guy was talking about a tight end. It seems as though tight ends are in demand these days which has given MADD fits. The analyst's partner reminded him that a tight end went well with a wide receiver. That made absolutely no sense. If someone had a tight end why would they need a wide receiver.

Things got out of hand when it was announced that some team had drafted an offensive lineman. Who in their right mind would have anything to do with an offensive player when there were so many decent players available. Nonetheless the experts agreed that the offensive lineman was a good pick in order to protect the quarterback. They acted as though a quarterback is the king pin of a team. I'm not a football expert, but common sense tells me that a full back is four times better than a quarter of a back.

When they started talking about about an outside linebacker versus an inside linebacker I had enough. I never realized that football players were so specialized that there were those who played outside and those who played inside under a roofed stadium. It was time to switch to a rerun of "Law And Order" which was running the story of a football player indicted for voluntary manslaughter.

As an epilogue it would be worthwhile to hope that the NFL draftees will enjoy being deployed to Afghanistan once their training is completed. As for the Royal family they should be invited to have their next reunion in Las Vegas where divorce courts are very efficient.

4/28/11

Throw Out The Clowns

In a 4/28/11 editorial, "Certificate of Embarrassment", the New York Times had the best description of Donald Trump's "candidacy" that I have seen when it referred to him as  "....... a cartoon candidate, Donald Trump," Would that I could find that comic strip but most papers prefer to carry his comedic antics on the front page. Freedom of speech is still a wonderful thing even if we have to suffer through the racist " birther issue" and the soon to be announced " academic credential" issue raised by the red nosed clown with the funny hair. I'd be laughing my head off but clowns aren't very funny when there are so many problems facing this country which warrant the attention of patriots, not clowns.

Most clowns ride around in a clown car. Trump prefers a helicopter which  says it all in bold letters. He's a clownish blowhard!.

4/25/11

A rant by any other name would smell the same

Political strategists have apparently convinced politicians that carrying the tired American colors into every nation which shows a glimmer of rebellion against an autocratic government is what the American public wants. John McCain, who never met a war he didn't like, calls for more involvement in Libya. Tom Pawlenty, who would have trouble finding Syria on a map, cries out for support of the protesters in Syria.  John Boehner spends spring break getting a tan in Afghanistan while raising questions about the Obama war strategy. The drums of war are being beat fiercely! I just can't respond to their call. Yes, I have empathy for the Libyan rebels and the Syrian protesters but on the other hand I wonder why  ill conceived struggles should become my battles when there is a battle to be fought here on our shores. Too many Americans are hurting and too few politicians are fighting for them. I would like to see the Afghans enjoy a democratic government but that is next to mission impossible - it's past the time to get out! How in hell can we bear the cost of multiple wars when we don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out from? How can we act as a white knight while we drift off into a feudal society ruled over by greedy black knights. How can we play the role of a superpower when we are poised to abandon a space program which has given us so much to make life easier and healthier. We cannot be a superpower in the eyes of the world while we are a weakling at home. The budget battle taking place in Washington will show us if we have the leadership in place to ensure that our future will be that of a democratic society dedicated to the needs of its masses. The " Yes we can!" of 2008 must become a reality and not merely a dusty campaign slogan.   As I have done before , I must invoke the words of John Quincy Adams, “Wherever the standard of freedom and independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will her heart, her benedictions and her prayers be. But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy ... she is the champion and vindicator only of her own.” The sooner Washington realizes that its job is to give us what we need and not what it thinks we want, the sooner we will be a respected superpower.
 

4/21/11

An Extreme Primitive Legal System?

The high primal is an avid reader of mystery books. Occasionally she will come across one that she thinks I would like and with effusive recommendations, makes it available to me. Such was the case with “ The Man From Beijing” by Henning Mankell ( of Wallender fame). The book lived up to its billing. It was difficult to put the book down in order to get some sleep. His treatment of the Chinese who built our rail system and the China of today held me entranced. When all was said and done , what really got my attention was what was said by the main character, a judge in the Swedish judicial system. During a visit to China she was quoted as saying, "Only an extreme primitive legal system can ever resort to capital punishment, which seldom if ever has a preventative effect."

I enjoyed the novel and its mystery but was left wondering how an advanced society such as ours tolerates capital punishment. Perhaps we are not as advanced as we think we are.

4/18/11

No Pulitzer This Year

Once again The Pulitzer Prize has eluded me. Not even an honorable mention. An anonymous source told me that other than being mediocre, the main problem with my writing is that it does not fit any category known to those making the awards.  Be that as it may ( now there's an expression that I'm willing to bet none of this year's winners had the courage to use), I accept that piece of information as true but it does not change my opinion of  the worthiness of my writing. Obviously the last sentence was repetitious, but the fact remains that my quest for writing excellence is just that,  a quest. A quest for the sake of a quest is a sure sign of dementia. Assuming that is true and who is to say it is not, anyone suffering from dementia who persists on publishing a blog has the best qualifications I know of for capturing the Pulitzer Prize. He or she would qualify for a new category, " Best Mentally Handicapped Commentary". I posed this idea to my anonymous source and was told that I was crazy if I thought that the Pulitzer Prize would ever consider mental health in making an award. I was once again emphatically informed in plain English, " There is no f*#king category for bloggers!". Whew, that's  a relief! It's not my writing keeping me from winning a Pulitzer Prize, it's my blog!

4/15/11

Made & Born In The U.S.A.

Birthers evidently will not let up on their accusations that Obama was not born in the good old U. S. of A. Now Arizona is proposing legislation that would require that anyone aspiring to sit in the Oval Office must submit proof that he or she was born in the U.S. A. ( it's a wonder that they are not proposing that the candidate must also prove that they have allegiance to that great desert in the west a.k.a. Arizona). To prevent future attacks against people with funny names and a foreign born parent, who desire to take the oath of President of the United States, it's time that we eliminate paper birth certificates which are subject to wear and tear and God forbid, alteration. I am writing my Congressman and my two Senators that legislation needs to be introduced that will require embedding in every child born in the United States, a chip which certifies that he or she is a genuine American. This is done with dogs to certify that they are thoroughbreds, so why not humans. Additionally, if the parents can prove that the child was conceived in the United States, the chip would also certify that the baby was made in the United States. Of course the danger in this labeling is that suddenly we would be faced with two classes of citizens, Made & Born In The U.S.A. and merely Born In The U.S.A. The Made & Born In The U.S.A candidate would probably have a distinct advantage over the lowly Born In The U.S.A. candidate. Not to worry, since it is getting next to impossible to find products carrying the label, Made In The U.S.A., I'm sure that it won't be long before outsourcing conception will be the way to go. The Made & Born in the U.S. A. citizens would then enjoy minority status and as such would be entitled to special privleges such as most favored status in elections.

4/10/11

Identity Crisis


Congress working for the American people
 Now that a shutdown of the government has been averted I must deal with an identity crisis. The crisis was brought about by the Tea Party thugs who held the Republican leadership hostage who in turn held the Democrat leaders hostage during negotiations on spending cuts. When all was said and done , everyone agreed that they acted according to to the will of the American people. Therein lies the problem. I have documentation which proves that I am an American. My writing this should prove  that I am people. Adding one and one tells me that I am an American people. That being the case, how come that I cannot identify with the barrel of monkey's that poses as Congress these days. One answer is that I am not American people. I refuse; however, to part with my documentation and would rather conclude that " American people" has become a cliche. The term is trite and worn. When used by a politician or a bunch of radicals having tea it is meaningless. I wonder if I have a case for identity theft?

4/4/11

Just Musing

  • My President sent me an e-mail saying that he's going into the campaign mode. Looking forward to it. It won't be long before we start hearing that everything will be great as long as we re-elect him. Once he's in again we will be told that there is much hard work ahead and we must start being practical. Everything being great is not necessarily in the nation's best interests. On the other hand, half a loaf is better than none at all and would actually reduce health care costs. By the way, he needs money. I e-mailed him back and told him I know how he feels - so do I. All kidding aside, he should run for another term. Look at the clowns running for the Republican nomination. You'll get my couple of bucks Barack, but please enough with the bait and switch.
  • I know that the First Amendment protects "Pastor" Terry Jones but why can't we have a mock trial, throw the book at him ( the Koran might do the trick) and convict him of manslaughter for burning the Koran. We could then laughingly put him behind bars and throw away the key. 
  • I don't know what's protecting that poor excuse for President of Afghanistan, A#$Hole Karzai, but there ought to be some way the UN can get his ass for murder.
  • I understand that the UN is telling Israel to shit or get off the pot in respect to agreeing on a Palestinian state. It's about time! Yo, Obama, get on board or is sacrificing those donor bucks too much for you. Remember, I'm sending you a couple of bucks.

Poltical Campaigns, Nothing But Bait And Switch

It is not an uncommon occurrence to experience the old "bait and switch" game when responding to an ad. Often, a particularly appealing product is offered at an unbelievable low price. Getting the product is a horse of a different color. When push comes to shove, the item has been sold out but the merchant has something just as good at a slightly higher price. Bait and switch unfortunately is also the scam of choice in politics.  The "promises" that bought our vote in 2008 and what we are being offered today are nothing but bait and switch.

4/2/11

Two Games For The Price of One


Ouch!(Plain Dealer Photo)
 Opening day for the Indians yesterday was like watching two games for the price of one. No, it was not a double header. Any baseball fan; however, would swear on a stack of bibles ( or Korans, or Torahs, just to be sure all my bases are covered and not because of rain), that two games were played on Progressive Field yesterday. The White Sox beat the socks off the Indians in the first four inning game 14-0. The Indians scalped the Sox in the next five inning game, 10 - 1. Upon appeal by Sox Manager, Ozzie Guillen, the umpires ruled that only one game was played. The score that counts was Chicago 14, Cleveland 10. When grilled after the game about his role in the loss, Chief Wahoo denied that he has cast a spell over the 2011 season and added " That's the way the ball bounces". He was also asked why after Spring Training, where the block C was exhibited on batting helmets, the Indians are now sporting the Chief caricature on their batting helmets as well as their jersey sleeve. He had no comment but beat a hasty retreat while mumbling an ominous chant.