Yo no hablo Espanol

Yo no hablo Espanol. Asi que per que Hispanos insisten en hacer su comentarios en Espanol y en Ingles. I'm sure that I just murdered the King's Spanish and I really don't care. Well, maybe I should care.

In the past when I visited the Canadian province of Quebec, I was impressed with how  easily conversations slipped from English to French and back to English. At the same time I felt sorry for the Canadians whose signage budget was twice as high as it should be in order to satisfy the French Canadians. Little did I know that  the United States would be going down the same road.

 Increasingly, Spanish is creeping into our signage and packaging, not to satisfy Spanish Americans but to satisfy Hispanics and Latinos. I mention both Hispanics and Latinos only because the terms are used interchangeably. Spanish Americans have no political clout. Hispanics and Latinos have political clout. More importantly, Hispanics and Latinos love the Spanish language and are stubborn enough to consider English only as a second language.

I've referred to Latinos and Hispanics as though they were one and the same. I guess for politics they are but I discovered that there is an important difference between Hispanics and Latinos.

• Latino generally refers to countries (or cultures) that were once under Roman rule. This includes Italy, France, Spain, etc. Brazilians are considered to be Latino, but are not considered to be Hispanic.
• Hispanic describes cultures or countries that were once under Spanish rule (Mexico, Central America, and most South America where Spanish is the primary language). 

Santa Maria! My parents were Latinos. They didn't speak a word of Spanish so they definitely were not Hispanic. All those politicians going after the Latino vote have been wasting their time translating everything they say into Spanish (how do you say bullshit in Spanish? Mierda?). There is no Latino voting bloc. There is however a Hispanic voting bloc which apparently needs to have all the issues facing the country explained in Spanish. No hay sentido en la lena del abrol caito a la muerta, Spanish is the Hispanic language of choice.

Given the trend, I wonder how soon there will be a push to translate the Constitution into Spanish  If it happens , I hope there is nothing lost in the translation.

So where is this all leading? To your favorite bookstore where you can shell out a few pesos for Rosetta Stone. In ten days you will be speaking Spanish like Marco Rubio. You might even try downing a few Dos Equis'; your speech will be slurred enough to fool even a Mexican. If all else fails, apply for a green card and emigrate to Canada. Make sure you head for Ontario and not Quebec.

ESO ES TODO POR AHORA!

 

Too old to vote?

I’m ready to vote. The issues are clear to me. Waiting another 84 days to vote will only cloud my mind - not the issues. I’m tired of the attack ads. I’m tired of Romney’s smirk. Actually I’m tired of the whole process.

　
There has been much talk about the Republican strategy of pushing for stringent voter ID regulations. The strategy is designed to minimize the impact of minorities and the poor but it will also affect the aged.

Remember James Stockdale, Ross Perot’s running mate in the 1992 election? Admiral Stockdale became the patron saint of seniors when in a debate he uttered, "Who am I? Why am I here?" The confusion caused by Voter ID regulations coupled with a never ending election campaign will bring about mind fatigue for many senior voters. Navigating the mine field of voting regulations may very well result in some of the aged lamenting; who am I and why am I here? If you don’t know who you are, you will never get by the ID requirements.

So what’s my point? I’ve forgotten. Hold it, I remember - I’m tired . No, that’s not it. It had something to do with my voting. The strategy to keep minorities and the poor away from the polls by making it more difficult to vote, also affects the aged.   Many in the  generation that survived The Great Depression, fought World War II and made the U.S.A. into a superpower  will be kept from voting because of confusing ID regulations and the manipulation of voting times.

As for the minorities and the poor, they can be kicked around only so long before they take matters into their own hands. Ultimately they will have their say. Hopefully it will be in the voting booth.

 One must also ask, why isn’t the United States, the champion of democracy, aggressively adopting policies of making it easier to vote , rather than more difficult.

Spanish ballots and a 64-cent poll tax: Ay, caramba!

Papeletas Bilingues

He recibido voto per correo de hoy. Translation -  I received my absentee ballot in the mail today.

Bowing to the wisdom of the Justice Department, the Cuyahoga County Board of Elections promised to have bilingual ballots for this fall's general election at 71 precincts with large Latino populations. I was surprised to learn that I live in a precinct with a large Latino population. Maybe it's because everyone around me speaks English -- at least some version of it.

The damn ballot is confusing and expensive enough. When it comes to filling in the oval, do you do it in English or Spanish? How do I know that the Spanish version of the ballot is an accurate translation of the English version? For that matter, is the English version an accurate translation of the Spanish? Does it matter? Estoy muy cofundido. I like to read every word before I vote. I've already spent an hour trying to comprehend the Spanish. I'm sure my Latino fellow voters would recommend that I learn to speak and write Spanish.

Then there is the cost of mailing an absentee ballot -- 64 cents in postage is required. Smells like a poll tax. I wonder what the Justice Department has to say about that. Let's see, I could drive to my designated polling place -- a four-mile round trip at 30 miles per gallon. Assuming $3.40 per gallon gas , I could drive to vote for 45 cents, a savings of 19 cents. That's more than I'll earn on my savings account next month.

But what if the lines are long? Could my bladder take the stress? Better to pay the poll tax and use the absentee ballot.

Before completing my ballot, I'm going to look for the place where you can make comments. I would like to propose that we give up the territory of Puerto Rico, thus eliminating the problem of its citizens not understanding our English ballots. Failing that, I would suggest that Latinos learn to speak and write English. My father did, and he voted!

No need for bilingual ballots!

The demand for bilingual ballots in Cuyahoga County, Ohio brought to mind to mind how the issue of voting by non - English speaking voters was handled many years ago. No, they were not told to go back where they came from, at least not publicly. Rather I recall a hobby I had as a child. Around election time , children would aggressively collect election cards. They were about the size of a credit card and were passed out by office seekers and their supporters. Importantly, each card had a symbol in the upper left corner , for Democrats, and the right corner for Republicans. Just kidding, the symbol as I recall was randomly placed on the card. What was so special about this symbol is that it denoted the political party the candidate was affiliated with. A star was used to indicate the Democrat Party and an eagle was used to indicate the Republican Party. Other parties had their own symbols which I can’t recall, but I’m sure there were a few hammer and sickle cards.

The beauty of these cards and symbols was that the candidate could remind every recipient to vote for the star or vote for the eagle. Once in a voting booth, the voter found a ballot printed in English. Can’t read English, no problem. Joe the Alderman told him to pull a lever everywhere he saw a star. In a matter of seconds the straight Democratic ticket was voted. To be politically correct, it was also possible to vote the eagle across the ballot.

I doubt that proposing this solution in place of a bilingual ballot will get anywhere. Rather, it might be well to go to night school and learn English as my father did. Night school? That’s a subject for another post. In the meantime, vote for the Democrats - look for the Donkey before he turns into an Ass. Vote early, vote often!

Vote Early Vote Often Stimulus

From all reports, the Democrats are faced with the real possibility that many of their 2008 supporters will not go to the polls ( I'm not going - The USPS is handling my vote) in this year's midterm elections. Unless it rains on November 2, Republicans will make the strenuous trek to the polls to vote against almost anyone who is dedicated to progress. Whats the rain got to do with it? Nothing, just musing about the days when the Republican party was dominated by farmers - farmers stay home when it rains, or so the high primal has informed me. Rain not withstanding, with less than four weeks to go it looks pretty bleak for the Democrats.

I propose that while the Democrats have a majority in Congress, they fight like hell to pass a new stimulus package - VEVO (vote early, vote often ) in preparation for the 2012 elections. The stimulus will stimulate voting simply by sending an Iphone   to all registered voters. The ingenious part of this is that the phone would come with a voting App. Just think, young voters would vote all day long and never get off their ass. A special App for Seniors would register a whine with every vote they cast in between their Viagra sessions. Election outcomes would be determined by those smart enough to use a smart phone. Wait, that might be a problem for the Democrats.

The challenge presented by using an Iphone to vote might prove disastrous for the Democrats. Anyone who is stupid enough to sit out elections is probably too stupid to use a smart phone. The Dems are stuck with sending out all kinds of e-mail, encouraging everyone to " vote early, vote often" any way they can, even if it means going to the can. Speaking of the can, its time to take a break.

Rocking Chair Voter

How lazy can I get? Very lazy when it comes to voting. On September 7th an important primary is being held to select candidates for a new fangled County government brought about because of an old, corrupt County government. I will not be at the polls on that date. Its not necessary to be there, since I will have already voted. My ballot is sitting on my desk. All I have to do is open the envelope , relax in my favorite chair with my favorite black ink pen, follow the instructions and fill in the oval next to the name of my favorite candidate. No messing with long lines. No messing with voting machines, or more properly voting contraptions, which are forever changing. No messing with poll workers. No messing with a sticker being pinned on me proclaiming 'I Voted Today'. I can do my civic duty while watching a TV show. I won't be tuning CNN even though they are the self proclaimed super best political pundits. If " All The Kings Men" is playing on one of the movie channels I might tune it in. It might help in sorting out the candidates. All that remains is to decide just when I will open the envelope and go about my voting. It would be unseemly to vote too early. If I wait until the last minute I might miss the filing deadline. Actually I'm bored about the primary, and the candidates I'm being asked to consider. It appears that we'll be swapping one form of corruption for another. All things considered, I must vote. I'll give it another two weeks, then I'll ask the "high primal' for her choice of candidates and mark my ballot accordingly. It will be good to get this frustrating task over with from the comfort of my rocking chair but how do I get the ballot to the mailbox? Guess I''ll have to get my ass in gear, put my Toyota in gear and drive to the post office. Who said that voting is easy!