If I'm going to get screwed, I'd like to be kissed

Thirty-five days to go before we go over the fiscal cliff. From everything I hear and read, there is no doubt that we are going over the cliff. The only question is what kind of a landing will it be. One thing for sure, whatever those assholes in Congress come up with, I'm going to get screwed. I guess I'd rather be screwed by the United States of America than Time Warner (yep, they raised my cable bill again). The bottom line is that at least in a democracy you get a kiss while being screwed. In a totalitarian form of government, you just get fucked.

The Morning After

Yesterday I published a blog post highly critical of Time Warner. God only knows how many times I was tempted to use the delete button on the post. A little voice within me kept saying that my rage had gotten the best of me. Another voice kept reminding me that I had a valid gripe and publishing the post was one way to maintain some self respect. A third voice interrupted and said I should thank God for giving me an idea for this post. If God did that for me I'm in lots of trouble.

God only knows? Voices speaking to me? You would think I was running for President. I don't want to mention names but Rick Perry and his spouse have a private line to God or so they would have us believe . Hold it, that voice is tormenting me again. I didn't want to mention names but I did. Now that other voice is coming in loud and clear. It's reminding me that the Perry's special relationship with God has already been dealt with in the media.

Exactly what are these voices that choose to use my mind as a forum for debate? Beats the hell out of me. I know it's not God or the Devil. They are much too busy communicating with people who have a larger ego than mine or a more creative imagination. If it's not the aforementioned  perhaps it is what we refer to as a conscience.

 ( I thought I'd use aforementioned just to lend some class to the post. I'm not quite sure what it refers to either, but it sounds good. Besides the Devil made me do it.)

I suspect that all of these voices are something called conscience.  I can understand the  confusion of the Perry's when it comes to getting messages from God. The fools have a conscience that is telling them to get the hell out of the presidential race. They in turn rationalize that it is only God testing their faith and God is really telling them that the country needs them. That's why they came up with the flat tax. The joke is on them. It was the Devil's doing and they will soon be retiring to that ranch of theirs which uses the "N" word in its name.

 Heck, God anticipated the problem of individuals claiming to communicate with God and decided to give us all a conscience. The problem faced by most of us (especially the Perrys) is that we don't listen to our conscience.

At this point a disclaimer is in order. I know next to nothing about the inner workings of communicating with God. I do know something about my conscience. I do feel better about yesterday's post. This post has taken my mind off of it which does not say much about my mind. My conscience tells me to call Time Warner as soon as possible and cancel some of my current services before I'm forced to have my Social Security check direct deposited to my Time Warner account.


There you have it , my morning after blues. I have solved nothing and probably confused a lot of things but my conscience is clear and the delete button on my keyboard is off limits.

How low can airlines fly

Weinergate made the headlines this week but not for long. Not to be outdone, Delta Airlines stole the show by demonstrating just how low an American Corporation can get. Grabbing exorbitant baggage fees from  servicemen returning from Afghanistan was Delta's way of showing their appreciation for their service. Caught with their flaps down, the recalcitrant airline officials now will allow servicemen to board with two extra bags free. Bullshit! Why can't they forget the fees altogether? Next time their lobbyists spend "baggage fee" money to lobby Congress for more subsidies, they should be run out of town on a rail. Why is that individuals are asked to sacrifice for the good of their country while Corporations  are exempt? Globalization? Corporations are starting to resemble "The Man Without A Country".

Having said that, let me hasten to add that there are many Corporations that can properly be labeled "good citizens". One that shall go unnamed is the one that pays my pension. A few bucks ( and they are a few) can buy anyone.

Back to Weinergate. According to CNN he is not giving up the headlines. Wish he would resign and make room for the next Congressman to act like a sophomore. Boys will be boys. Some will even grow up to become President of The United States.

Kudos to Amazon.Com

In the midst of the Christmas shopping rush, errors in orders are bound to be made. In my case , a book I ordered using my Amazon.com account did not arrive as promised. I should modify that last statement, according to USPS it was delivered on 12/11/10. If indeed it was delivered. the poor order arrived at someone else's home. Could it be that someone is enjoying my book gratis? That's beside the point. On December 14, I decided to contact Amazon's customer service in an effort to resolve the problem. Much to my amazement there were no if, ands or buts. I received a commitment that if the order did not arrive by December 16, Amazon would be glad to to either give me a refund or ship a replacement. The order did not arrive on December 16 and I elected a refund. On December 17, I received e-mail confirming that my credit card account had been credited for the price of the lost order. No hassle, just plain courtesy. I understand that this is standard practise for Amazon.Com. They certainly have earned my loyalty.

No thanks Macy's

Using a department store credit card (or a charge-a-plate per my high primal thinker) was a relatively simple transaction. Pay off the balance each month and avoid astronomical interest rates or run up a balance and enrich the card issuer. Not good enough for Macy's!

A notice of change in terms arrived in the mailbox recently. At first glance it seemed innocent enough. As usual the APR on balances was going up but so what. Pay off the balance and forget about the APR. Not so fast.

Macy's sales are down so it appears that their MBA's were put to work to come up with some credit card changes which could generate more income. Section 5 of the notice pictured above was the result. The key phrase:

" We will begin charging interest on purchases on your Revolving Account Type on the transaction date"

So my statement would now show a monthly interest charge even though I paid off the previous balance? Not exactly , Macy's had provisions for refund on the following months statement provided I met certain conditions. In the meantime they had the use of my money.

Those "certain conditions" are stated in something other than plain English. The best I can determine is that there is a 50-50 chance that I would see a refund for the interest charged (my lawyer is still going over the fine print trying to decipher exactly how I get this refund or rebate).

Its the fault of Congress! They declared war on predatory lenders but are losing the war before it really gets started. The lenders have more MBA's armed with all sorts of gimmicks! What the lenders forget is that the consumer has some amunition.

Concluding that Macy's is trying to screw me, a Macy's credit card no longer graces my wallet.

As I keep telling the high primal thinker, department store charge-a-plates stink!

The day after

After yesterday's rant about Time Warner and customer service, today's customer service experience at a local computer store ( Microcenter) rates four stars. I actually talked to three different associates who not only bent over backwards to answer my questions but were actually knowledgeable. No, I didn't buy today but I will buy in the near future after getting the approval of my high primal thinker. There is hope for good customer service!

Time Warner is holding me hostage

I have a problem, actually a lot of problems but one in particular. I’m lost in the wilderness of cable television pricing.

For years cable service was easily understood . There was basic service and premium service. You paid for what you got, then enjoyed the annual price increases for which there was little explanation other than “our service has improved to the extent that we can command a higher price”.

The High Primal Thinker and I enjoy old movies, especially the offerings on Turner Classic Movies. About a year ago the only way we could get TCM was to subscribe to digital service for an extra ten bucks a month ( TCM later became part of the basic package with no increase in price but I wasn’t paying attention). Actually it was more than ten bucks a month. It was necessary to rent a digital converter and a remote for another eight bucks a month. Oh well, we now had good entertainment.

In the past year, two events made the presence of a digital converter box in our home overkill. The first was the purchase of a new TV set with of all things a digital tuner. Secondly all the TV transmissions converted from analog to digital. Great, my digital converter box was superfluous. All I had to do was return it and save eight bucks a month.

I ventured into the jungle of customer service. Incidentally if the C.I.A is looking for a new form of torture they should consider the endless commercials Time Warner offers up as they put you on endless hold as you try to reach the customer service representative that another customer service rep referred you to.

To make a long story short, I eventually was informed that I could return the box and the remote, and yes the eight dollar rental would be removed from my bill. Without missing a beat the rep added that my monthly charge for cable service would go up about ten dollars a month. It would be cheaper to keep the box and pay the rent!

I couldn’t believe my ears and asked for an explanation. Get this, with the box I had access to hundreds of channels but without the box I would be limited to 76 channels. The bottom line was that I was downgrading my service which would negate a discount I was receiving ( which was news to me). I would have to pay list price for the basic service.

What it all boils down to is that I have a TV set with a digital tuner hooked up to a digital converter box. Of course I can receive many more channels with the box, but I’m not addicted to channel surfing. I don’t need the damn box but I must pay for it until June of 2010 ( another rep told me the discount would expire in September of 2009). No matter, on general principles I’m going to disconnect the box, store it in a safe place and return it when Time Warner inflates my bill either in September or next June.

End of story? Not quite. I’m planning a visit to one of their centers where I can talk face to face with a rep and possibly gain my freedom from that monstrous Time Warner digital converter box.

I feel much better! Thanks for bearing with me. I've got to get back to my TV, "A Night At The Opera" is on.

Coupon Nazis

Aside from rising prices at the supermarket I have noticed an increased surveillance of manufacturer’s coupons ( see previous post ) . Now one is subjected to a scrutiny of coupons at checkout which rivals that of the Florida election workers looking for chards during the Bush - Gore recount in 2000. The checkout clerks have morphed into Coupon Nazis. Apparently coupons have fine print, lots of fine print! If one has not read all the fine print with a magnifying glass they risk being brought up short by the Gestapo. A public lecture follows with the implication that the coupon passer is engaged in some sort of scam.

It is commonly assumed that a coupon applies to a single item. Bad assumption. Read the fine print and you will find that some coupons will require the purchase of two products. Gotcha! Save fifty cents and get two packages when you only need one. By far what irks the Coupon Nazi the most is a coupon that has expired. Most of the time an expiration date is prominently displayed but the trend is toward burying it in the fine print. Other than to annoy the customer I’m not sure what this accomplishes. Then there are the pictures on the coupon of the product the coupon applies to. Of course in some cases it is difficult to make out and a guess results. The most conscientious Coupon Nazis will go through your items that have been already checked out in order to assure herself or himself that you bought the right product. I said herself or himself only to be politically correct but I must admit the himself’s rarely question coupons. They are too lazy to make good Coupon Nazis.

Remember this, if your coupon backfires be sure you are Mirandized before submitting to any questioning by the Gestapo. Better yet it is best to get in a line that includes a lawyer willing to represent you pro bono in case you are accosted during checkout.

Customer Service Can Be A Pain In The Ass

Customer Service these days is an adventure , especially on the phone. Many horror stories on the subject have been written so it is not my intent to add another. I might add that I have had some pleasant experiences dealing with “representatives”. Still more frequently than is good for one’s blood pressure bad experiences do develop and overshadow the pleasant experiences. It has become obvious to me that the horror story has its beginnings one minute into a call when you suddenly realize that the person you are talking to is bored by their job and could care less about your problem. Is it possible that “Customer Service Representative” is one of those jobs that American citizens would prefer not to do? Illegal aliens have come to the rescue in labor intensive jobs such as picking fruit, plucking chickens and landscaping but I’m afraid they are not a viable alternative for manning the customer service phone calls, although Spanish would be more welcome than the garbled English practiced by many customer representatives. So how do we eliminate the problem of dealing with an unknowledgeable, rude customer service representative? Eliminate the problem which necessitated the phone call in the first place! Most inquiries deal with health insurance coverage and product quality problems. Obviously all that has to be done is to simplify health insurance coverage and make product quality the hallmark of product marketing. Healthcare insurance problems? Universal health care, that’s the answer, the rules are the same for everyone and not subject to dispute! The product quality issue calls for a more complex solution. Why not complicate the tax code even more and establish a Product Quality Tax Credit Ala the Earned Income Credit. Of course this should be available only to those having less than fifty thousand dollars in taxable income. I’m sure IRS statisticians could work out a formula basing the amount of credit on projected costs of defective products purchased by people in various tax brackets. To keep this credit under control a new Federal agency would have to be created which would establish quality scores similar to credit scores and apply these to retailers. Retailers with unacceptable scores would be monetarily penalized much in the same manner that credit card companies raise interest rates for cardholders with low credit scores. Retailers with low quality scores faced with profits being eaten away by poor product quality penalties would surely drop vendors responsible for selling junk! The vendors in turn would find sweat shops willing to further punish workers making junk or in a moment of weakness they might resort to domestic manufacturers. It seems like a lot of trouble to fix a problem caused by an unknowledgeable, rude representative and I’m sure in the final analysis it would only create a need for call centers to handle tax credit and product quality score questions and problems. Doing so creates more sorely needed jobs but it would only serve to continue the problem it was supposed to solve in the first place - the pain in the ass caused by some customer service phone calls. Would a better solution be to attract knowledgeable and courteous customer service representatives by paying them more?