About Heaven

Search engine results do not abound with heaven based clichés as compared to hell based clichés. I suppose its because it is more difficult to get into heaven even for a search engine. There are however a few. Arsonists tend to favor a match made in heaven while visitors to an out house favor it stinks to high heaven. No one seems to know the origin of heavens to Betsy but I suspect it came from Harry Truman. To top it all off ( now there is a cliché if there ever was one) it has even been suggested that heaven is a cliché. Heaven forbid!

About Hell

We all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions (and clichés) and that go to hell is one of the most popular clichés. If one were to comply it is best to go to hell in a hand basket and not hell bent for election. As you approach the gates of hell take heed of Dante’s admonition, “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter”. Retreat like a bat out of hell or there will be hell to pay. You may find yourself between the devil and the deep blue sea. If you think that is bad, keep in mind that hell has no fury like a woman scorned. That is one of the many reasons we have hell on earth. Until hell freezes over hellish clichés will proliferate.

More About Best Friends

Next to my spouse my computer is my best friend. I doubt that she would appreciate this type of competition but I know she appreciates the hours I spend at the computer rather then being underfoot. Contemplating the marvels of the computer I can’t help but think back to 1947 when John Bardeen, Walter Brattain, and William Shockley invented the point contact transistor. The invention of the transistor is regarded as the most important invention of the twentieth century and fanned innovations and inventions which revolutionized the electronics world and indeed our way of life. I’m proud to have been a part of this technological revolution . My friend the computer is but one product of this revolution. There are two other modern day phenomenon whose acquaintances I have yet to make; namely, the I-Pod and the I-Phone. The reason our paths have never crossed is that in spite of my love for new technology I have not been inclined to embrace these devices. The desire is just not there. I feel bad about this since I’m sure I have disappointed my grandchildren who always thought I was more hip ( that certainly dates me). On the other hand my spouse and my computer applaud my restraint.

Let sleeping dogs lie

Let sleeping dogs lie - Can dogs really lie while sleeping? Your guess is as good as mine. Be aware however that once awake they may tell the truth and upset the apple cart.
Animals and clichés make for problematic copy. We all know that there is more than one way to skin a cat . Yes, but why? Does the A.P.C.A. know about this? Wouldn't it be easier, and less bloody, to weigh alternatives ? How much does a cat weigh and why are they in harms way? Who let the cat out of the bag in the first place?

Has The Chief Been Retired

For the past two weeks The Plain Dealer sports pages have been full of Cleveland Indian stories ( Spring must be coming). I'm holding my breath - nary a sign of Chief Wahoo. The script I appears where ordinarily the Chief would appear. Has The Plain Dealer retired the Chief? Will the Cleveand Indians owner follow suit? Stay tuned.

Its not my cup of tea

"its not my cup of tea" is the disclaimer of choice when we decline an offer , beg off from an activity or proclaim a dislike for something. This is fine as long as you are a tea aficionado. What if you are not? Could a coffee lover get away with its not my cup of java ? If coffee doesn't do it would its not my brand of scotch suffice? Neither of these alternatives would cut it. They are not clichés and to shorten conversations or make a point, one must speak in accepted clichés even if they are a misrepresentation of taste.

Good Bye Saturn

It is reported that GM will reduce its lineup of brands to just four from eight. The survivors will be Chevrolet, Cadillac , Buick and GMC. I’ve never been a big fan of GM vehicles. I owned three Chevrolets which ranged from fair to poor. I owned one Saturn which was great. The junk will remain and the quality will be gone. The remaining brands will provide plenty of room for gas guzzlers if needed.

Auto Workers Retiree Health Care

GM and Chrysler will submit their scenario for justifying the billions of corporate welfare they received in January and will once again go to the trough for more bailout billions. It is interesting that at the last minute they are locked in intense negotiations with the UAW over ways to cut expenses for retiree health care. My first reaction to this was that the UAW was being unduly stubborn in not agreeing to modify an extremely generous retiree health care plan. Then the question arose in my mind as to why retirees should give up something that their retirement plans were based on. They had a commitment which now someone is reneging on. “Oops, we really didn’t know what we were doing. We shouldn’t have been so generous”. Of course the UAW is between the rock and a hard place. Compromise and do the right thing to help save the auto industry or play hardball and risk the very existence of the UAW. As for the retirees , where were you when universal health care proposals needed your support. I know, the provisions of universal health were not as generous as what you got from the auto companies.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop - What Bush said to Maliki after avoiding a shoe thrown at him by a journalist.

Shit or get off the pot

"shit or get off the pot" is perhaps a cliché which should be front and center as to our daily lives. There are certain things which can cause a temporary detour in our daily activities but agonizing over what could have been is counter productive. Navigate the detour , get off the pot and get on with life.

Is This The Year

The Cleveland Indians will finally win the World Series this year. Why this year? A surefire way to stimulate the economy in Northeast Ohio is for the Indians to have a championship year. To this end I understand that instead of adding a sorely needed pitcher to theit roster they added a lobbyist. The lobbyist was charged with getting stimulus money from Washington. Word is that the lobbyist was successful (don't tell Obama), and buried in the economic stimulus package is enough money for the Indians to buy a championship. What is that little voice telling me? Oh my, the lobbyist goofed! The money in the economic stimulus bill is not for the Cleveland Indians, its for The Iroquois Indians and its earmarked for a casino in New York State. Should have signed the pitcher. Wait until next year!

Bipartisanship

Bipartisanship is a noble objective and works well in times of war. Unfortunately, not so in times of economic turmoil. Do the Republicans really think they can regain power by sitting on the sidelines so that they can say "I told you so" if the Democratic economic stimulus initiatives falter. Its a strategy which bodes ill for the country.

Heaven A Step Closer

For Catholics, Revival of Indulgences Moves Heaven a Step Closer - so blared the headline in this morning's paper. Evidently one can secure indulgences which shorten their time in Purgatory. Exactly how this is done is not very clear. Securing the services of a lawyer is probably the only way to navigate the religious red tape. Indulgences had all but disappeared in the Catholic church. According to one bishop they have been brought back because sin exists in the world. The implication is that we went through an era when sin was not a problem. Do these religious leaders take us for fools! It seems to me that for Catholics the revival of indulgences moves Heaven further away as they connive to secure thier passports out of Purgatory. Limbo has already been declared as non-existent by the Catholic Church. As Purgatory empties itself of sinners via indulgences , is it possible that there will be no further need of Purgatory?

The Perfect Storm

"the perfect storm" is often used to explain the cause of our chaotic state of affairs.If you have read the book or seen the movie this cliché may seem appropriate. If so, the fact that all lives were lost on the fishing boat caught in the perfect storm should be sobering.

Baseball's Steroid Problem

Apparently A-Rod will join the list of superstars suspected of using steroids. The Hall of Fame doors are slowly shutting on the likes of Bond, Clement, McGwire and maybe even A-Rod . There will certainly be others. Baseball has a big problem when it comes to tainted record breakers and their election to the Hall of Fame. In lieu of election to the Hall of Fame, I humbly offer these possible solutions for celebrating the careers of steroid using superstars :

• establish a Steroid Era wing at Cooperstown reserved for players of the steroid era
• award honorary degrees for extraordinary research in the use of performance enhancing drugs
• establish a prize similar to the Academy Award for outstanding performance while under the influence of drugs

Let The Wine Breathe

Is “ let the wine breathe” a cliché? It is certainly overused and maybe even a questionable practice. Personally I prefer to aid the breathing by applying CPR to a glass of wine.

Camel's Nose In The Tent

The President signed an executive order on February 5th to create a new White House office for faith-based programs and neighborhood partnerships, building upon the initiatives started by the Bush administration to administer social services to people “no matter their religious or political beliefs.” Why do we need this? Is it a nod to religious zealots who want more voice in governmental affairs? Is it an election payoff ? So now we have a twenty-six year old Ayatollah overseeing the disposition of taxpayer’s money. Will he decide whether or not religious groups that receive federal money for social service programs hire only those who share their religion? Has'nt history taught us anything about the participation of religion in governmental affairs? I’m sure there are more questions than answers in the signing of this executive order. Perhaps reflecting on the story of the camel's nose in the tent might provide some answers.

One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome" as he turned over and went to sleep.

A little later the Arab awoke to find that the camel had not only put his nose in the tent but his head and neck also. The camel, who had been turning his head from side to side, said, "I will take but little more room if I place my forelegs within the tent. It is difficult standing out here." "Yes, you may put your forelegs within," said the Arab, moving a little to make room, for the tent was small.

Finally, the camel said, "May I not stand wholly inside? I keep the tent open by standing as I do." "Yes, yes," said the Arab. "Come wholly inside. Perhaps it will be better for both of us." So the camel crowded in. The Arab with difficulty in the crowded quarters again went to sleep. When he woke up the next time, he was outside in the cold and the camel had the tent to himself.

The First Robin Of Spring

It is popular to herald the arrival of Spring upon sighting the first robin. It is three degrees outdoors , the ground is covered with snow, it is February 5th , and as I look out the window I spot a fat robin frolicking in the snow. Spring is here! Hardly, Spring will not arrive until March 21st. That robin and his friends have been shivering in Ohio like the rest of us . They are not "snow birds" who head for Florida at the first sign of cold weather. So how will I know when it is spring? When I see that robin hopping around with a worm in its beak.

What goes around comes around

What goes around comes around - if a person does something bad, something bad will happen to him. If he does something good, something good will happen to him. If he does something half - assed he has no one to blame but himself and will probably find himself going around in circles.

What goes around comes around

What goes around comes around - if a person does something bad, something bad will happen to him. If he does something good, something good will happen to him. If he does something half - assed he has no one to blame but himself and will probably find himself going around in circles.

What goes around comes around

What goes around comes around - if a person does something bad, something bad will happen to him. If he does something good, something good will happen to him. If he does something half - assed he has no one to blame but himself and will probably find himself going around in circles.

Not Music To My Ears

I found myself in a waiting room recently and to my surprise I found a juke box prominently displayed. A juke box to me means the 40's, 50's and 60's. Surely this juke box sheltered some of my favorite music. Not the case! There was not a familiar tune there, nor an artist whom I recognized. After I got over my disappointment it dawned upon me that pop music has passed me by. As the years have piled on, I've done a fairly good job of keeping up with the new technology and life styles, but I must admit that since the 60's I have accumulated zilch knowledge of what music is the rage. Probably because it is not music meant for my ears - aging has taken a toll on my ears. I guess that makes me a musical dinosaur but so be it. I can still listen to big band music and crooners like Sinatra on my CD's ( I did upgrade from LP's and tapes, but have not graduated to the IPOD yet ). Age has its privileges and I've decided to continue to ignore rap and rock ( rock and roll also) . I don't feel bad about being ignorant about modern pop music but I do yearn for an IPOD for my Big Band music and opera) .