11/2/11

Get Rid of the Canadians - Geese That Is!


Walking along the trail by the golf course this morning, I was amazed at the number of Canadian Geese that have flown into Ohio to play golf at the Aberdeen Country Club. I'm sure that the club operators are more frustrated than amazed as they zip around the course trying to collect their green fees.

It seems to me that the problem of Canadian Geese illegally crossing our northern border has been largely ignored by our politicians. Too much time is spent on devising methods to keep out illegals from Mexico rather than illegals from Canada. At least the Mexicans are willing to do all those jobs we hate while the all that the Canadians (Geese) do is shit all over our golf courses.

 Actually the solution to keeping out the Canadian Geese is simple and  anyone of the Republican candidates is welcome to use it in the next debate. My preference is Perry but Cain will do if if the sexual harassment he's accused of wasn't a goose.

Right off the bat I must reveal that I initially offered the solution to Obama but he respectfully reminded me that he was much too busy to deal with a bird like me to say nothing about birds from Canada.

To get rid of the Canadian Geese problem all we have to do is to establish a no fly zone over The Great Lakes. Before we do this we must not forget to get UN approval because inevitably NATO must be asked to conduct some bombing missions over golf courses. The Federal government need not get directly involved beyond a nice speech at the UN.

The down side of this plan is that after ninety days there will be more hazards than desirable on our golf courses to say nothing of the tremendous cleanup of geese carcasses. To make matters worse the golf course operators will still be out of green fees.

All is not lost. The geese will be gone . The golf course operators can request assistance from China which China will be glad to give in exchange for a monopoly on providing golf carts.

The more I think about my solution, the more I feel I should find another form of exercise. As I've mentioned before , walking can be dangerous for your mental health.

1 comment:

Charles Leck said...

Geez! Remember when they told us the Canadian Goose was disappearing! Didn't they tell us that? Lowered the hunting limit on geese! We have a lake (muddy old hole) all along the southside of our property and the geese fly-over our house when landing there -- and the noise is immense. I try to tell myself it's grand, but it sure isn't.