Holy Cow, it's holy shit!

As the Cincinnati Reds committed two errors and their pitcher plunked two Philly batsmen, on their way to blowing a 4-0 lead, I found myself shouting, “Holy shit, there goes the game!”. No sooner than I had gotten the words out of my mouth, the little grey cells got excited and drove me nuts about the origins of ‘holy shit’.

After extensive research , I concluded that it was an exercise in futility. Other than confirming that ’holy shit’ was a general exclamation used to express among other things disbelief and displeasure , I could not pin down an origin. I did however, find out that there is such a thing as holy shit. Very simply, in India cows are holy. Cows shit. The shit from a holy cow has got to be holy. It is rumored that a Hindu priest accidentally stepped into a cow flop and blurted out , "holy cow, it's holy shit!". So why don’t the Indians run around exclaiming ‘holy shit’ when a tsunami hits their shores?

 Holy shit is not limited to India. As toxic red sludge enveloped a Hungarian village , the village elders were heard shouting out “ holy shit”. The Hungarian ‘holy shit’ is making its way to the Danube so that most of Europe can enjoy it.

Of course Italy already has its share of holy shit. The Vatican sewers are full of crap which the Pope has decreed is holy. We all know he's infallible.  Don’t believe me? Why else would the Vatican use holy water in its toilets.

Back to America where we have our own version of holy shit in Kansas. There you will find the Westboro Baptist Church. Fred Phelps and his followers are full of shit, but they would have you believe that it is holy shit. I understand that Chief Justice Roberts and his Court plan to inspect the church’s outhouse before they render their decision in the ‘funeral protest’ case.

Holy cow, the Reds committed two more errors! I’m tired of this bull shit.

1 comment:

Al Penwasser said...

On a related note, when the college of cardinals vote for the new Pope, we see Holy Smoke coming from a Vatican chimney.