Talking To God

I finally got God to talk to me. Don't ask how I did it, but Dewars isn't a bad scotch. I didn't understand everything he said but some words did get through.

" Save your money. Don't stick an Ipod in your ear! Don't bother praying either. The airways up here are clogged with prayers and we're at least a millennium behind in answering them. If you want ideas for blog posts you'll have to use that mass in your head called a brain. Just keep walking. Who knows what good things can come out of it. I know I'm supposed to know everything but I can't promise good things will come out of it, no more than my suggestion that a vote for Obama was a vote for change. On that one , just be patient. Incidentally, I did convince him to give up  basketball in favor of walking and you know what the effects of that will be.  While we're talking - excuse me , while you are listening - have you considered telling everyone who reads your blog that I never, never talked to Bush. The Iraq War was his own idea, although there are rumors that he did have a conversation with Satan. I really am too busy to spend anymore time with you. There are wars going on which need a referee. Did you like my call on that perfect game that turned out imperfect? Gotta go - I suggest you take a walk."

(Was that really God I was talking to? I must confess that I was surprised at his command of English. I didn't notice any evidence of an Arabic accent.)

I took God's advice and went out for a brisk walk without anything stuck in my ear. I thought that my walking was brisk but lately everyone has been overtaking me as I crawl along. It must be the thinking that is slowing me down. It takes a toll on the mental process and as a result there is a precipitous loss of energy. This loss of energy got me thinking about the energy crisis and our lack of a plan to effectively deal with it. I use “our” because we must all share the guilt. The more I think about it , its Washington’s lack of a plan. This reasoning is a direct result of the effect that walking has on logical thinking. Thinking of logical thinking, let me get back to walking and energy.

As walkers overtake me along the trail, I’ve noticed that many of them have Asian features. That got me thinking harder. People with Asian features have more energy than I have. Where have I heard that before. Its difficult to walk, think and recall all at the same time, but it finally came to me. The Chinese are kicking our butt on developing sources of renewable energy. The Chinese will have more energy than the U.S.A. in the near future.

That got me to step up my walking pace. I had to get home and Google, China and energy. Google referred me to a blog, Chicagoboyz, which did not mince any words in stating that the Chinese are going to kick our asses. Why? Here’s a sampling from the article”

“We have a culture that holds engineers and inventors in contempt and views new technologies first and foremost as threats to be mitigated. The Chinese nearly worship engineers and inventors and adopt new technologies with a reckless disregard of all but the most gross dangers.”

“The Chinese have become the lean and mean, energetic barbarians sweeping down on a fat, decadent and leaderless civilization. They have the same cowboy attitude towards technology and commerce that drove America to the top in late 1800s. They are going to do to us what we did to Europe in the pre-WWII era and for the same reason. The difference this time is that the Chinese share no cultural bond to the rest of the world as America did to Europe.”

That really got me thinking. I couldn’t wait until my next walk so that I could come to grips with this disturbing prospect.

 Kick our asses! Hell no! The next day, I jogged past every Asian looking walker until I could no longer keep it up. I ran out gas and came to a complete stop. No doubt about it, those Asian looking walkers kicked my ass. They had more gas than I had. Walking has really affected my mental health after all. If I was thinking properly I would have realized all those walkers with Asian features were at least forty years younger than me. No wonder they have more gas!

There’s an epilogue to this tragic story. In preparation for the 2012 election, there will be all kinds of strategy planning by the political parties. Renewable energy sources will play a big part in the campaign. I fear that the only renewable energy source that will come out of the rhetoric will be the hot air as candidates stump along the country. It is rumored that China is ready to back the candidate that has the most hot air. They will stop at nothing to corner all the energy that is available.