The Internet Has No Soul

Recently the High Primal decided that we should send some "get well" flowers to a dear niece of ours. As High Primals are prone to to do, she instructed the Low Primal to get his ass on the Internet and accomplish the task ( which was obviously not worthy of the intellect of a High Primal). The Low Primal went to a web site specializing in delivery of flowers to all corners of the earth.  After much one way discussion , a suitable flower arrangement was picked out for delivery to our niece in Rochester, N.Y. The High Primal left to dream up other tasks to keep the Low Primal occupied during the day.

As instructed, the Low Primal started to navigate the floral web site hoping to eventually place a bona fide order. He finally concluded that Columbus had an easier job navigating to the Indies. It became obvious to the Low Primal that he could not place an order without divulging all sorts of personal information designed to harass him in the future. True to the traditions of Low Primals he made a monumental decision. The hell with the Internet- get in the fucking car with the High Primal and drive to the local florist.

Once at the florist, the High Primal and the Low Primal were assisted by a little old lady with heavy mascara around her wrinkled eye lids. When it came time to write up the order it became obvious that perhaps ordering the flowers via the Internet wasn't such a bad idea. The tip off was the little old lady trying to make out a printed address ( in large type) that the Low Primal had given her. She was having trouble because she couldn't see! Finally the glasses hanging around her neck were put to use and some semblance of an order was written up. Noticing the consternation of the Low Primal, she informed him that she had macular degeneration in one eye and a cataract in the other. She planned to do something about the cataract in the near future. Defensively, she was quick to add that her opthamologist had informed her that her vision was fine (he probably told her that her vision was fine except for the cataract and the macular degeneration.). The order finally got written up. More accurately, the order finally got scribbled up.

As High Primals are prone to do, she sweet talked the sweet little old lady throughout the whole ordering process. In return, the little old lady made the High Primal's day. After admonishing the Low Primal for not buying flowers for his spouse on International Woman's day, she presented the High Primal with a beautiful rose. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the flowers we ordered are on their way to Bosnia instead of Rochester. Regardless, I'll have to remember that the sweet little old lady saved my ass on yet another "day" designed to make florists rich.

After much meditation, the Low Primal had to conclude that even if the flowers ended up in Bosnia the whole experience at the florist had proven that although ordering flowers on the Internet might be more efficient, the Internet had no soul.

This post has gone on longer than I had planned, but according to the High Primal, sometimes long is better than short. She quickly added, that less is better than.more, which leaves the Low Primal in a quandry. FINIS!!!!

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