Finch Diner Destroyed
Tony’s Finch Diner is gone! Unknown intruders invaded Tony’s patio, raised holy hell with some of the furniture and ripped down the finch feeder. Coming on the heels of past threats from the f***king homeowners association, the demolition does not appear to be due to natural causes. There have been no reports of an earthquake in the area and we are in the middle of a drought. There has, however, been a report of a masked critter roaming the common ground by Tony’s patio.
Tony suspects that some corporate raiders were hired to put an end to Tony’s Finch Diner. As previously reported in this blog, for the past several months hardly a finch has been seen at the feeder. He speculated that the corporate raiders outsourced the finches to China. Not satisfied with ruining the diner business, the raiders collaborated with the f***king homeowners association, hired some raccoons and put the diner out of business once and for all.
When asked if he had any plans for a new diner, Tony could only mumble something about the f***king homeowners association , Bain Capital and Romney.
Romney does resemble a raccoon. Hm mm!
For information leading to the apprehension of the critters of interest, Tony has promised to make a generous contribution to the Obama campaign.
The critter of interest that put Tony out of the finch diner business is out of the neighborhood. He was last seen strapped atop some wealthy politician's car headed for Canada. Tony has promised to write that check for Obama. He was going to attach a note asking that he get the balls to do something about gun control but decided that Obama had enough on his plate. Maybe next January.