12/20/11

We Interrupt The Holiday Season

We interrupt the Holiday Season or more properly the Christmas Season with all sorts of breaking news which could make that gentleman with the white beard unhitch his reindeer, fire his elves and hunker down in the North Pole for at least another twelve months.

 There is enough breaking news clogging the networks to spawn at least a dozen posts per day. I'm not that ambitious a blogger so I'll confine myself to one post with enough tidbits to insure a few sleepless nights.

 For starters  I could join the chorus and declare that the world is well rid of Kim Jong-il. I might even second that Senate warrior, John McCain and condemn Kim to a warm corner of Hell. The problem is I know little about Kim except for what I read in the papers and hear on TV and lately the media has been a bit unreliable in how it puts together stories. I'm told he was a bad person. I have to wonder how a bad person survived so long but then I might conclude that bad persons have a knack for survival. It takes armed intervention to get them out of power. Think Saddam Hussein. While thinking about Saddam, try not to think about the bad person or persons positioning themselves to pursue their ambitions in the new Iraq. Will the ruler of North Korea start a nuclear war? Will the new ruler of Iraq cave to Iran? Will Iraq, Iran and bad man Assad's Syria declare war on Israel to get rid of weapons of mass destruction? Will the United States retaliate by bombing the shit out of the whole Mideast? Where in hell are we going to get our oil? Russia? This is terrible and that SOB Kim Jong II started it all.

If the threat of a nuclear holocaust wasn't bad enough we have breaking news out of Washington that Boehner and his band of thieves are about to steal - check that - are about to shut down the government because a bunch of hoodlums in Indian head dress insist that helping American citizens is not the American way. Why they call themselves The Tea Party is a mystery to me. I'm not a fancier of tea but I always thought a tea party was a gentile affair. Boehner says that he is merely looking after my interests. He's a nosy sort. He would be interested to know that the threat of Medicare reducing doctor payments by 27% has already caused two doctors to tell me to go see a veterinarian. Do vets prescribe sleeping pills?

The worst news of the day was that the probability is high that we will not have a White Christmas. That's real bad news if you are in the snow plowing business. If the latest weather reports hold out we are bound to be hit with a mini recession by New Years Day. Landscapers will be laying off all the illegal aliens they hired to man their cute little trucks with the snow plow in front. Ford will have to shut down its F-150 truck production. If only Bing Crosby was around to sing "Let It Snow" - that would save the day.

All this bad news is very depressing. Unless I stop writing about breaking news I know that I will have a blue Christmas. So to hell with you Kim Jong-il, the hell with the Mideast and the hell with the cheap politicians in Washington. Most of all, let it snow. let it snow - only a couple of inches should do it. The best breaking news will be that all had a Merry Christmas in spite of all the assholes in the world trying to make our days on earth miserable.

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