Late News

My daily newspaper is getting very lazy. It arrives at my garage door later every morning, making the enjoyment of my breakfast less than satisfactory. Weight gain is not thereason for its slovenly behavior. The paper is as thin as a rail. So what's the point of all this? Nothing important , other than not having a newspaper to read while having my cup of coffee gets me off to a grumpy start. Actually that's not true. I've always been off to a grumpy start, the late paper just makes it a grumpier start.

There is a solution to this problem. No, it's not cancelling my subscription. No paper at all would drive me up a wall. In comparison to the resulting anger my grumpiness would look like a virtue. The solution is very simple, I'll start getting up an hour later in the morning, put the garage door up and pick up my vanishing newspaper. There are other benefits to this solution. The high primal might be up, and will wonders never cease, might even make my breakfast.

Now if only I could find a newspaper that had something in it besides stale news. I'm afraid that  the only way to get " news as it is happening" is to use the Internet and perhaps get a Twitter account. The benefits to abandoning the thin paper with the stale news is that it would permit me to maintain my current morning schedule, get up to date news and forgo going out in the cold to pick up an anemic newspaper. I might give Twitter a try, but I do not have the option of cancelling my newspaper subscription. The high primal would not hear of it. According to Marge, you can never get too much news. Whether it's fresh or stale, good or bad, you just have to learn to be selective. She doesn't make my breakfast but oh those lunches and dinners!

 What in hell would be a good user name for Twitter? Grumpy?