11/18/10

Sorry USPS, you're toast!

got a late start for this morning's walk - laziness I guess. I probably shouldn't have ventured out at all. I passed a mailbox that had been knocked down and immediately my unruly mind started to come up with all kinds of disturbing scenarios. The one that made be hesitate about continuing my walk concerned the antics of  the anti-government forces. If war was coming , I wanted to be home.

The war to reduce the size of government started with the midterm elections. Without a doubt the Republicans and their Tea Party allies won this initial skirmish. Their generals have been all over the boob tube making sure we all realize that they are on the offensive and once and for all will shrink that ogre called government. The offensive weapons they are revealing are awesome. Weapons of mass destruction are readily available in the form of filibusters, hearings and the ultimate weapon - control of the purse strings. On what front will they attack first?


It is commonly believed that repeal of all or most of the landmark health care reform bill will be the first target. Others argue that Medicare will take a hit. Some even predict they will try to make radical changes in Social Security. Some of their more aggressive generals are prepared to go after all three. My intelligence has found that this is all poppycock. They will not launch an all out offensive. They have a safe target in mind which if they successfully demolish will demoralize the public and make their ultimate objectives attainable with little loss of political capital.

Sources have revealed that sometime next year the United States Postal System will be bankrupt. The G.O.P. and the Tea Party will be handed a great opportunity to reduce government. Although the USPS is only a quasi- government agency it is government enough to be a target of interest.  The battle cries are ready. No bailout for the Post Office! Privatize the Post Office! Government has no business delivering mail!

The public will not be shocked. Big Business has already been at work laying the groundwork for the demise of the postal system. The propaganda mill has all but convinced the public that hot-mail, G-mail, Yahoo are the way to go. How can “postal service” compete with such cute names? Google, Yahoo, Microsoft and now Facebook would like to handle all our mail. Paying bills - no problem, smart phones and the faithful PC will handle bill paying and depositing money at relatively little cost. Of course, where the friendly post man never opened our mail we will now will be at the mercy of our Internet providers as far as privacy is concerned. Not to worry, that can be handled by a little government intervention as long as we  bury the costs and do not give it a name. After we’ve been carpet bombed with all sorts of reasons why the USPS is “toast” and after we find out how much it will cost to bail out USPS, we’ll buy mail privatization with little resistance.  Moreover, the demise of USPS will force us to go paperless and save the environment.

The war will be fought in Congress but the battle will be won on the streets. It is rumored that Tea Party activists are prepared to go undercover to raise havoc with USPS. They have been purchasing brown pants and shirts complete with a certain logo. The plan is to hijack a mail truck every week and throw the mail in any body of water close by. The post office will ask for government troops to intervene. The response from the Pentagon will be that the troops are too busy fighting wars in the Mideast. If all these uprisings are successful the USPS may come to its knees  as early as next April - April 1 to be exact. The joke will be on us but no one will be laughing except the Tea Party. Now what to do about health care, Medicare and Social Security. As long as our representatives, who still care about people hang tough, attacking these programs can be made tough. The anti-government forces could be forced to retreat and sue for peace in the form of bipartisanship. The secret weapon will be the fickle public who really don't know what they want except the ever changing American Dream.

 I'm not sure how to get out of this other than to say I cut my walk short, went home, had a cup of coffee and wrote this post. No doubt about it - walking can be bad for your mental health!

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