- First and foremost, clear your lungs and at the risk of damaging your vocal chords shout that you are angry.Not just that you are angry but that you are raving mad. Who are you angry with? Be sure to articulate, as difficult as that task may be, that you are mad at everyone who has tried to bring some sense of order to our once great democracy. How well you express your lunacy will get you the support of your fellow travelers who have loosely organized themselves into something called The Tea Party.
- Secondly, you must swear on the Bible ( be sure it's the Bible and not the Koran) that you have not read a book in the last decade other than Sarah Palin's. Accomplishing that will get you noted as a Palinista if you really can stomach the notoriety.
- Thirdly, and this is very important, you must learn how to put words together which will convince everyone that you are a complete idiot. The idea is to come across as stupid since many believe that only the stupid are immune from corruption. The fact that this is not true should not bother you. If elected you can find a mentor to show you the ropes.
- Fourthly and last be very, very careful that you do not take a position on issues other than to keep repeating in an angry voice that you are against big government, taxes and immigration. You must not fall into the trap of having to defend your position. Doing so will lose you the support of The Tea Party and the Palinistas.
Hopefully the electorate will see through this winning formula and send the bastards who adopt it packing, but I wouldn't bet on it.