On Immortality

Death is inevitable! Or is it? It seems there is an exemption from death - immortality. Being immortal gives one an unending existence and lasting fame. The trick is to achieve immortality. Beethoven did it. Edison did it. Shakespeare did it. Mozart did it. Verdi did it. da Vinci did it. How did they do it? They were creative. Simple enough, be creative and achieve immortality. But there’s a catch. You can’t acquire creativity, at least not the kind that leads to immortality, you must be born with it. Even being born with creativity is not enough. Apparently immortal composers, writers and inventors had an additional advantage over mere mortals. Everyone of them was a genius and you don’t acquire that either. But what about immortals such as Enrico Caruso and Babe Ruth? Hardly geniuses and certainly not overly creative. But they had talent, a lot of it, which was the key to their immortality. Talent alone does not get you there but tons of talent ( and a little luck) will do the trick. Then we have the saints. If you’re a Catholic , being elevated to sainthood gives you instant immortality. Beware, achieving sainthood is a difficult process since it requires the performance of miracles. Unfortunately, in these days sainthood appears to be reserved for a few high profile individuals. No amount of charitable acts, prayer or bribes will get you sainthood. So what do we have. If you are not a genius, if you are not creative, if you don’t bristle with talent, if you’re not a miracle worker with connections, the door to immortality is closed. Still all is not lost, history tells us that there is another way to sneak in. Hitler did it. Stalin did it. Nero did it. . How did they do it? Viciousness! Unlike genius, creativity, talent and holiness , there is no lack of viciousness in the world. Fortunately most people either do not have enough viciousness or find no suitable platform to display it. Lets face it. If you’re not a genius possessing creativity, if you are not bubbling over with talent, if you are not vicious to the point of destroying countless lives, and if you are not a saint , there is no way you can achieve immortality. We are back where we started. Death is inevitable! A granite tombstone is the only semblance of immortality the vast majority of us will ever have. Notwithstanding , if you are still set on achieving immortality you might consider being a suicide bomber. Death is involved but it is said that a successful suicide bomber has an automatic lock on immortality and as a bonus enjoys an inexhaustible supply of virgins. As for me, I’ll settle for the granite tombstone.