Chastity Belts Won't Work

They say that you should not kick a dog when he's down. It is not my intent to kick the Catholic Church. Heaven knows that I can't afford to kick any religion while it's down. On the other hand, the news that Pope Benedict's resignation may have been influenced by mounting incidents of sexual impropriety by some of his virgin clerics. Something innovative is forthcoming from the Vatican.   Something like the Pope releasing priests from their vows of chastity (which in far too many cases they take with their fingers crossed) and make it clear that  the sanctity of marriage, including same sex marriage, is welcome in the Catholic Church. It would be far more satisfying to read about priests committing adultery than to read about priests molesting fellow priests and young boys.

"That government is best which governs least"

The saying “That government is best which governs least” is popularly attributed to Thomas Jefferson but scholars will tell you that these words cannot be found anywhere in his writings. No matter the source, we do know that currently our Federal government is hell bent for election to prove that we have the best government possible. Exposing us to “the fiscal cliff” and the impending “sequester”, Congress is doing its best to govern least. Considering the damage being done by a government which chooses not to govern, I’m sure that Jefferson would be relieved that we no longer attribute the saying “that government is best which governs least” to him. As March 1 approaches, it is best that I sequester myself until we have a government dedicated to governing.

Downton Abbey Season 3 Finale

Right off the bat I must declare that Downton Abbey has definitely morphed into an American style soap opera. I came to this conclusion after watching two hours of the Season 3 finale with the TV closed caption turned on. Why I did not do this in the past was a grave error in judgment. Between my hearing loss and difficulty in understanding the King’s English, I’m sure I missed many subtleties of this TV drama. Thanks to the closed caption I was able to get the jist of what was going on without bothering the High Primal for an interpretation.

In this last episode everyone in the Downton Abbey family including the servants come up smelling like roses except for Matthew. Poor Matthew! Lady Mary bears him a son and he celebrates by driving his convertible into a truck. I thought I detected a smile on his corpse which was completely unnecessary since he had nothing to smile about unless Dan Stevens who plays Matthew was relieved to be written off the show. The episode abruptly ended with his death. The after effects of his death will have to wait for Season 4.

In fact almost all the events in the finale seemed to be designed to get speculation going about Season 4. My best guesses:

-Tom Branson the widowed Irish Mick will bed the widowed Lady Mary and together they will rule Downton Abbey.

-Lady Edith will bed the newspaper editor, get pregnant and give birth to a cub reporter.

-Mr. Barrow and James agreed to be friends in tonight’s episode but Season 4 will see them both coming out of the closet and resume Barrow’s failed attempt to bed James. Barrow referring to him as Jimmy is the tip off.

- The Season 4 shocker will be Carson the butler bedding Mrs. Hughes the housekeeper.

- The wild card in Season 4 will be Cousin Rose coming to live in Downton Abbey. It turns out that Rose is a nymphomaniac who beds all the footmen in sight.

- Not surprisingly, the producers will change the name of this Masterpiece Classic to “Once Upon a Mattress”.

It should be noted that today is the start of MLB Spring Training. It won't be long before I can watch baseball instead of Masterpiece Classics on Sunday nights - and with no need for closed captioning.

Downton Abbey Season 3-Episode 6

Episode 6 of Downton Abbey 3 turned out to be a battle between staying glued to the TV set and going to the John. I wasn’t expecting a two hour episode and neither was my bladder. I need to get one of those pause gadgets if this continues.

As for the show, the good news is that Bates strolled out of the “big house” complete with his derby and cane (I don’t know how he got along without the cane while incarcerated). The bad news is that he went back to work in the nut house called Downton Abbey. So what happened to Mr. Barrow?

Mr. Barrow conveniently cleared the way for Bates to get his old job back. He tried to seduce James the footman which didn’t go well with Carson the butler. Carson fired his ass. Bates however convinced the Earl that Mr. Barrows is not responsible for his sexual orientation and deserves a second chance (a second chance at what was never made clear). What to do with Thomas (only butlers and valets are referred to by their last names)? A decision worthy of the United Nations is made. Thomas will be an under-butler. I suppose this means that he will be constantly under Carson’s scrutiny.

Having become an enlightened aristocrat, the Earl tried his hand at advancing a liberal style of management for the Downton Abbey estate. In no uncertain terms he is over ruled by his rich son-in-law Matthew. This whole business of managing the Downton Abbey estate has me more confused than it has the Earl. Amidst all the wrangling, the estate manager quit and Tom the Mick, the other son-in-law, gets the manager’s job.

As for the widower Tom the Mick, aka  Tom Branson, he is slowly but surely being weaned from his Irish revolutionary roots into the boots of a British aristocrat. Hope I’m wrong but he now “dresses” for dinner. So far he is able to dress himself. If ever a valet starts dressing him, that will be the end of this son of the IRA.

The writers of this show are unkind to Lady Edith. She in my opinion is the smartest of the Earl's daughters. In this episode she ventures into the field of journalism defying all entreaties that a woman’s place is in the home. Rather than building on her journalistic talents, the writers are setting her up for another romantic fiasco.

The highlight of the evening was the Downton Abbey vs. the Villagers Cricket game. To my surprise the Abbey team featured the servants as well as the aristocracy (I don’t know who dressed who but they all looked like Cricket players). The Abbey team won and the Earl affectionately embraced his two son-in-laws. As he did so, I raced to the bathroom.

 

Smart Phones Get Smarter and Smarter

Smart phones are getting smarter while my dumb phone is getting dumber. According to The Plain Dealer it is now possible for one smart phone to bump another smart phone and money will flow from one into the other. I tried bumping my dumb phone against my son’s smart phone and all I got was a text message, “Are you kidding”. Yes, if you have the patience you can text with a dumb phone,

This bumping business has got something to with “the next big thing” in banking - social payments. I never considered making a payment on anything as being social just as I don’t find anything social about the rants and rage in the social media. It appears that in the near future credit and debit cards will go the way of election cards. If you know what election cards are, you probably own a dumb phone. Suffice to say that election cards are obsolete (they’ve been replaced by Super PACS). Per the article I read, social payments work like this:

“You want to pay $25 to Jim. If your bank offers social payments as an option, you can log onto your bank's web site from your cell phone or computer.

You then request a payment to Jim and provide his email address or cell phone number. He'll get an email or text message that he has money that was sent to him and he needs to claim it. Reminders may be sent for up to 10 days.

Jim can provide the bank or this third-party company used by the sender with his bank routing number and account number and the money will be transferred from your bank account to his within a day or two.

Consumers can also look for the ability soon to send payments instantly by bumping their cell phone with another phone or device, said McClanahan of Fifth Third.”

Social payments will of course raise more hell with the USPS operating statement. The postal service has already announced that it will cease delivery of mail on Saturdays. Social payments, on line bill paying and e-mail are also fueling class warfare and that’s not very social. Class warfare? Of course. There will be those of us who don’t want or don’t know how to use a smart phone, joined by those who don’t know a lap top from an Etch a Sketch. We will be known as the 1 per centers (sound familiar).

Now that’s a problem. I’m not comfortable being a 1 per center with all of its political implications. It’s also much too snooty. As you can see from this blog I have a computer. I have also admitted that I have a dumb phone that is dumber than Ebby Carnack’s pig (the latter is through the courtesy of The High Primal who assures me, that being dumber than Ebby Carnack's pig is as dumb as you can get). The only way to drop out of the 1 per centers is to get a smart phone. It’s worth considering as long as they have an APP which will guarantee that I will not bump myself into bankruptcy.

Downton Abbey, Season 3- Episode 5

Watched the Super Bowl festivities off and on today (mostly off). Tuned in the game during the second quarter after watching the Puppy Bowl. The puppies had a ball but I didn't. I dozed off for awhile but woke up in time for Downton Abbey. I must say the doings at Downton Abbey proved to be more exciting than the football game.

Episode 5 featured the House of Grantham in disarray. The death of Lady Sybil and Mrs. Crawley's rehabilitation of a prostitute brought out the worst in the Earl of Grantham and his butler Carson. Suffice to say that both are arrogant bigots. The Earl is chagrined that Tom plans to raise his daughter as a Catholic even though according to the Earl, Anglican blood runs in her veins. He really blows his stack when his mother, wife and two remaining daughters have lunch with Mrs. Crawley. Of course the lunch was prepared by Mrs. Crawley's maid, the ex- prostitute. Mr. Carson, the butler, is bent on protecting his "family" from a woman of easy virtue and in the process throws cold water on a romance with the more liberal Mrs. Hughes. My guess is that both the Earl and the butler will learn some tough lessons in the future.

Good news tonight . It looks like Bates' lawyer is more like Perry Mason after all. He's convinced the key witness responsible for Bates' conviction to change her story. Bates will beat the rap.

All in all, things look pretty tense in Downton Abbey. The episode ended with the Earl and Lady Cora reconciling over the events preceding Lady Sybil's death. Will the Earl reconcile with Matthew and Tom? Will Carson allow his "family" to morph into liberals? Why is Tom, the Irish revolutionist, taking so much shit from his father-in-law? Could it be that he is a freeloader? Will Bates  return to Downton Abbey? Will there be a Downton Abbey to return to? Was the aristocracy of the British Empire really that conservative and puritanical?

I've tuned into the Super Bowl again as I mercifully wind down this post. Holy Cow, what happened? Less than two minutes to go , San Francisco has the ball, fourth and goal, a touchdown wins the game and they screw up - just like the Earl of Grantham. Wonder if the Cleveland Browns will ever get a chance to mess up in the Super Bowl now that "Lord" Haslam owns the team. Rumor has it that he really wanted to rename the football stadium Downton Abbey but First Energy threw too much green stuff at him to claim the naming rights.

Three more episodes to go.The only TV conflict I can think of is The Academy Awards on Feruary 24. Shouldn't call it a conflict. I'll be watching Episode 8 of Downton Abbey.

We Do Not Elect Lobbyists

Hardly a day goes by that some Congressman or Senator tries to convince us that what he or she is proposing or opposing is in response to the wishes of the American people. This is true whether its coming from the mouth of a Democrat or a Republican. It makes one wonder, who really speaks for the American people? I submit that the term “American people” as used by political orators is at best a cliché. It has become a trite, stereotyped expression that has lost originality and impact by long overuse.  The position of our representatives on an issue facing the country is not based upon the views of the “American people”, it is based on their own political agenda which has been heavily influenced by some powerful lobbyist group.. So who speaks for the “American people”? I’m afraid it is the lobbyist and we do not elect lobbyists.