About Lists

Lists are what keep a household functioning. There are shopping lists, grocery lists, to do lists, short lists, Christmas card lists, phone lists and the dreaded shit list. To my surprise, I recently found out that there is a “list to stay” and a “list to go“. This knowledge was acquired when I looked over the list that the High Primal composes every morning. In our household this list is pretty much an orders of the day list. As usual, I found the list confusing but this time I challenged the High Primal to explain what the hell she had planned for the day - the list didn’t make any sense. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was looking at the wrong list. Stupid me, I had tried to decipher what she referred to as a “list to stay“. I should have consulted the “list to go“. Apparently a “list to stay” is merely a draft of the final list. The “list to go” is the list that leaves the house.

Preparation of a “list to go” is something the President‘s Chief of Staff would do well to observe. The High Primal not only makes out lists but manages lists. She actually makes a draft of a list or I should say drafts of a list. The drafts are massaged several times before a final draft is made. The final draft is left sitting on a kitchen counter while the High Primal completes her toilette which is in its self a complicated process the description of which I would not touch with a ten foot pole.

Once the toilette is completed the list progresses from a “list to stay” to a “list to go” and becomes a working document. Unfortunately, more often it becomes a lost list buried in the bowels of a High Primal purse.

No comments: