Ohio Votes to Hold Primary Yesterday!
Breaking news! According to an unreliable source, the Republican presidential primaries are in chaos after Ohio announced it would hold its presidential primary yesterday! There is a rush to collect yesterday's ballots tomorrow from the landfill in order to determine who won Ohio's primary. Rumor has it that Republican absentee voters did not mail their ballots but stayed home in droves in the mistaken belief that an absentee voter is just that - absent. If yesterday's ballots are not retrieved tomorrow it will only prove that the primary was too late and will not have any effect on the outcome of Campaign 2012 which is rapidly becoming yesterday's news. Hopefully Sarah Palin will announce her candidacy in the far future so that chaos will turn into a Republican Winter of Discontent. When asked to comment, all that Obama could say was, "Yes, we will".