Tony's Finch Diner Ordered Shutdown By Homeowners Association
Unknown asses have succeeded in getting the f***ing F------s Homeowners Association to order Tony to get his Finch Diner the hell off of common property. The asses are suspected to be Tea Party activists who don‘t have the cagliones to do anything important in local politics. Not wanting to make waves, Tony has agreed to move his diner to safe ground. He has served notice however that he intends to report the abuse of Finches by the F------s Homeowners Association to the Audubon Society. Tony also suspects who the asses are and has called a meeting of all the Finches in the neighborhood to tweet about the anti-Finch terrorists. The guest twitter at the meeting will be the lead bird from Alfred Hitchcock “Birds” movie. It is rumored that this bird is an expert at pecking asses and will provide instructions on precision ass pecking for a group of Finches who have volunteered to form a special Finch Attack Force (FAF). In the meantime, Tony has engaged a contractor to remove the offending Finch feeder. Asked where the feeder was being moved to, Tony would not disclose the location and would only mumble: I’ll get rid of my last feeder when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.