2/9/11

Bless me Father for I have sinned!

    The Catholic Church has approved a Confession iPhone app. I always thought that the Catholic Church would choose to enter the twenty-first century by permitting its priests to marry and even permitting women to be ordained as priests. Instead it has chosen an iPhone app.
    Devout Catholics will now be only a touch away from one of their most cherished sacraments after heaven forbid committing a sin. Imagine that wayward husband having the time of his life with his best friends wife, rolling over in bed , grabbing his smart phone and asking the phone for forgiveness. Actually it won’t be that easy. He will not get forgiveness - only preparation for a good confession in a smart church. Damn, the Church just won’t make being religious easy. With that, our wayward husband will probably terminate the prep, roll over, grab another condom and have another go at it.
    There’s another problem with this new app. You need a smart phone to take advantage of it. What about those of us who have a dumb phone. How do we prepare for a good confession. We don’t!  If you are smart enough to have a dumb phone, you are exempt from a good confession.
    Actually the confession app is not a problem for me and my dumb phone - I don’t sin. Besides it wouldn't be worth $1.99 . I,m not sure whether or not it is a one time charge. If the charge is $1.99 per sin , it could be a big money raiser for the Vatican.

( It is rumored that the Catholic Church is ready to launch a new app for the sacrament of Extreme Unction. I doubt that it will fly. Anyone needing Extreme Unction will be so close to death that they will never be able to turn the phone on, no matter how smart it is.)

No comments: