Wish I had said it

Ex- jocks find lucrative work as TV sports analysts. The trouble is that in seeking to be clever they succeed in boring the hell out of you. Today's, The Slouch (Norman Chad)  column provides a humorous look at two of those talking heads. The lines Chad uses are priceless and can be applied to political pundits as well. Here's a sampling - put in whatever name you want:

- ____________ doesn't talk in his sleep, he filibusters in his sleep.

- If you handed ___________ a celery stick, he would speak into it.

- If you say something authoritatively, it appears you are an authority.

- ___________ and _________ talk in so many circles, they ought to be broadcasting from a Ferris Wheel.

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