Birds do not eat like a bird and with the price of thistle going up it is becoming a challenge to maintain the high standards at Tony‘s Finch Diner. Some thought has been given to charging a perch fee but collecting it would be impossible and brings up scenes from the movie “Birds”. Diluting the thistle, cutting down on the number of perches, and shortening the feeder hours were also options but dismissed out of hand. Someone also suggested hiring a cat as a security guard to reduce the traffic. The price would be cheap, all the birds it could eat. The result would be bankruptcy for the Diner and would make a jailbird out of Tony once word got out to the Audubon Society.
Actually the problem is not so difficult to solve. If Tony starts eating like a bird he can afford thistle ( for the birds) no matter how high the price. Moreover, a more healthy life style will reduce health costs and Tony can begin to consider franchising Tony’s Finch Diner. Once the money starts rolling in, its eat, drink and be merry!