Football Rules In Ohio

The Plain Dealer which publishes daily but delivers only four times a week, arrived for its second delivery of the week this Wednesday morning. Looking at the front page of the local rag I got the impression that the PD editors felt that only news worth printing was football news. Seventy-five per cent of the front page was devoted to Ohio State becoming National Football Champions and the Cleveland Browns renovating their stadium to make it more spectator friendly. I'm glad I paid special attention to the news on the Internet and TV this week. Coverage of the massacres being committed by deranged terrorists sucks hind tit as far as the Ohio media in these parts is concerned. Football rules! I swear if football were to be abolished as a sport, the State of Ohio would secede from the Union. I write this with the full knowledge that I have put myself at risk should this post come to the attention of an OSU fan. Actually there is little risk since reading is involved.

On Obituaries And Legacies

I'm not one for reading the obituaries. I should be a follower of obituaries. Not because of my age but because of my genes. My mother was an avid reader of the obituaries (what was unusual about her choice of news was that she read the obits as published in English even though she never had any schooling in the English language). I recall that  Ben Franklin like my mother read the obits everyday.  According to Ben, "I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page.If my name is not on it, I get up". He would be frustrated by today's daily newspaper being delivered only four days a week. Poor Ben would get an awful lot of sleep these days.

My excuse for ignoring the obituaries? At my age, they might spoil my breakfast if my name was staring me in the face.Some people write their own obituaries. I guess they don't want to take a chance of anything negative popping up after they are gone and can't defend themselves. I would chalk it up as an unnecessary ego trip. No undertaker worth the bucks he is being paid would let a negative obituary get by him. Personally, I have found it unnecessary to indulge in obituary writing. I always felt that I would do something outstanding during the course of my life and at my death editors would be scrambling to detail the deeds. Such is not to be. I stopped pursuing a legacy worth any newsprint long ago. I'll have to be satisfied with a generic obituary. No obituary at all would be OK also. What is really important is that those whom I love remember me as someone who did his best to earn their love and respect.

Whoa! This is beginning to sound like an obituary and a published one at that. I assure one and all that such is not the case. Heck those embers from the dying fire of establishing a legacy might still burst out into a flame. Stranger things have happened. Realistically as far as the future of printed obituaries is concerned, its about as dim as my legacy embers. Most investors are convinced that newspapers are on their death bed. I wonder, has anyone written the obituary? That's one I want to read.

More About Newspapers

I used to enjoy my morning paper. Actually I still do whenever The Plain Dealer sees fit to deliver one. I have noticed, however, that where once I eagerly awaited the morning paper, I now could care less. The non existence of home delivery of The Plain Dealer three times a week has weaned me away from newsprint dependence. As I plunk that cup of coffee on the table, out comes the smart phone full of all the news that's fit to be browsed. Even if it's a day that a newspaper is at the garage door, the smart phone news comes first. Once I get the newspaper indoors, it takes about ten minutes to discover that a lot of the news in print is already stale. Yes Plain Dealer, you have convinced me that news delivery is undergoing a big change. I'd cancel my subscription and get the latest smart phone but The High Primal still prefers newsprint. I must admit that we get our moneys worth as far as she is concerned. I doubt that there is a story or a classified ad that escapes her attention. Not so with her low primal spouse - even the paper's baseball news plays second fiddle to what he gets on his phone. This whole subject was discussed with my granddaughter who agreed whole heartily with her grandfather. That made me feel ten years younger. Now if I can wean The high Primal from CNN's Situation Room, I can knock off a few more years.

A Study In Contradictions

A study in contradictions

Today's issue of The Plain Dealer contained an interesting article about a study which found that a genetic link exists between eating red meat can increasing the risk of colon cancer. Immediately below the article was an add pleading the readerto take advantage of the deal of the day at The Sausage Shoppe. A sloppy layout but good for a laugh. Comes under the category of "anything for a buck".

It takes $$$$ to be a libertarian

I never paid much attention to libertarians until Ron Paul ran for the Republican presidential nomination. Even then, I dismissed the whole idea of libertarianism as much ado about nothing. How wrong could I be? Very wrong!

 I perused cleveland.com (powered by The Plain Dealer) this morning (it's Tuesday- no home delivery) and was drawn to this headline:

Will Libertarian Amazon-Washington Post owner order Rand Paul endorsement?

Jeff Bezos a libertarian? I didn't know that. The Koch brothers, libertarians. Didn't know that either. Obviously I'm not very informed. Now I know why I dismissed libertarianism as much ado about nothing. I'm just not greedy enough or more importantly, rich enough to be a libertarian.

Unless you have tons of money it does not pay to be a libertarian ( or is it an ass). Only the very rich have the luxury of actively promoting the idea of a minuscule federal government. Let the rest of us eat cake.

Jeff Darcy's editorial cartoon prompted this post. Hope he doesn't mind that it is gracing this blog.

One more for the road

No, I'm not on a binge. Just one more rant about The Plain Dealer and home delivery before I put the whole subject to bed.

Today is Wednesday and true to their promise The Plain Dealer distribution people deposited a hard copy of the paper at my garage door. Breakfast with a newspaper. Life is good.

My euphoria lasted through half a cup of coffee. The news in the paper was as stale as the piece of toast on my plate. Indians got clobbered by the Tigers for the umpteenth time - knew that before they played. Al-Qaeda threatening to bring us to our knees again - already knew all that Washington is willing to tell me. Browns training camp news galore - boring as all hell. Obesity down in the country except for Ohio - don't need a newspaper to tell me that; just walking down the street does the trick. One whole section devoted to food (Taste) - proving that Ohio is committed to leading the nation in the number of fat people (according to the High Primal, if you want a body that does a lot, you must put up with the bulk). I could go on and on but that would bore me as well as anyone who may be reading this. Suffice to say that the Wednesday edition of the PD should have been labeled "All The News You Already Know".

Being without the hard copy of a newspaper the past two days was no big deal. That Bezos guy is right. Within the next twenty years there will no longer be newspapers as we know them today. He's spent 250 million for The Washington Post to prove that.

One more for the road. The Plain Dealer e-edition was obviously designed for an iPad. Since that's the device of choice I think the PD's marketing gurus could have come with an iPad giveaway promotion. Not so, butt thank goodness for The New York Times e-edition. It's friendly with all my devices.

No Plain Dealer by the garage door

Monday, August 5, 2013 - opened garage door, reached for The Plain Dealer, got zilch. Of course! No home delivery! Not until Wednesday. Then not until Friday and then Sunday. Should mention the bonus (whatever that is) on Saturday. Home delivery is now an event. Need to mark my calendar.

 The good news is that I can get to my computer and view The Plain Dealer e-edition. The bad news is that The Plain Dealer e-edition is not very user friendly. In fact it is a user turn off. Oh well, getting my news from The New York Times on line won't be so bad. Actually it will be just fine.

The Plain Dealer spinners would have me believe that they are doing me a favor by bringing me into the twenty-first century as far as news delivery is concerned. If more newspapers follow their strategy, the role of newspapers for news delivery will go the way of dinosaurs.

What's in a Headline?

Choosing a few words to convey the main point of an article can be a challenge. The result sometimes lends itself to misinterpretation. A few that caught my eye recently ( it didn't hurt):

 Efforts to Recruit Poor Students Lag at Some Elite Colleges (New York Times 7/31/13) - Should come as no surprise. It is much easier to recruit good students. Furthermore, college is meant for good students.

NSA officials grilled over phone records (The Plain Dealer 8/1/13) - Grilling over charcoal would have been preferable. In either case, it's a violation of the 8th Amendment which prohibits cruel and unusual punishment.

New Tools for Keeping the Lights On (New York Times 7/31/13) - What's wrong with a light switch?

Peace Camp wraps up to the beat of drums (The Plain Dealer-8/2/13) - Sounds like a call to arms.

A Wandering Mind Gathers No Moss

Worries Mount as Syria Lures West’s Muslims- so blared the headline for a story in last Sunday’s New York Times. Evidently much ado is being made about who is helping the rebels. “Young Muslims are traveling to Syria to fight against the government of Bashar al-Assad, raising fears among American and European officials of a new terrorist threat when they return home”. Not necessarily true. Foreigners fighting in the Spanish Civil War were the inspiration for some great novels- not terrorism. Maybe some young radicalized Muslim will return from Syria and write “For Whom The Muezzin Calls”. We may even see some  historical epics like “The Cedars Believe In Allah” or “Winter in Damascus”. Then again they may return as more accomplished bombers.

Carlos Danger, aka Anthony Weiner, is giving user names a bad name.

Finally got a letter from The Plain Dealer explaining how pleased I’ll be with their 3 day a week home delivery and what a treat their e-edition will be. Re-read it three times and I still was not thrilled until I realized that there was indeed a plus side to the reduced delivery of hard copies. Fewer papers to put out for recycling. As for the e-edition, my DEL button will handle the trashing.

I haven’t written much about the hard playing Cleveland Indians who are currently 2.5 games behind the Division leader. I’m not going to start now since I’m mindful of Chief Wahoo’s curse. If only the Dolans would retire him, first place would be a cinch.

The Cleveland Browns opened training camp last week. They are apparently way ahead of schedule- one concussion already reported.

Kudos to Senator Sherrod Brown. He's moving to Cleveland from the outer suburb of Avon. Another way of looking at it, the good senator is putting his money where his mouth is.

One way to beat cancer - redefine it! A group of experts has determined that as far as cancer is concerned we are still living in the nineteenth century. What to do? They have recommended changing the definition of cancer and eliminating the word from some common diagnoses as part of sweeping changes in the nation’s approach to cancer detection and treatment. That will bring the cancer rate down dramatically. Now we need to redefine what obesity is and eliminate so many fat people walking the streets.

Digitally Savvy

The Chicago Tribune reports that its sister publication, The Chicago Sun-Times, has fired all of its photographers and plans to use freelance photographers and reporters with smart phones to shoot photos. According to the Sun-Times:

"The Sun-Times business is changing rapidly and our audiences are consistently seeking more video content with their news. We have made great progress in meeting this demand and are focused on bolstering our reporting capabilities with video and other multimedia elements. The Chicago Sun-Times continues to evolve with our digitally savvy customers, and as a result, we have had to restructure the way we manage multimedia, including photography, across the network."



The story did not shock me. It is just the latest in a newspaper taking action to improve its bottom line by the novel approach of cheapening its product. What intrigued me were the words, "The Chicago Sun-Times continues to evolve with our digitally savvy customers.....". Digitally savvy customers? Sounds impressive but what in hell is a digitally savvy customer?

As I understand it, the modern definition of a digitally savvy person is someone who can use computers or other digital equipment. A digitally savvy person is also one who can use numbers and do arithmetic. Now that explains the "evolve" part of the Sun-Times statement. When all we could do was work with numbers on a sheet of paper we needed professional news coverage. Now that we have evolved into computer savvy individuals and become addicted to smart phones we have no need for sophisticated newspapers; Twitter, You Tube and Facebook will do the trick as well as dumbed down newspapers.




Screwed without a kiss

I've been stewing for months about The Plain Dealer's plans to curtail home delivery to three times per week. It is now official. There it was on page one, a Dear John letter or as The Plain Dealer marketing gurus prefer,  a Dear Readers letter. Yep, starting August 5th, The Plain Dealer will implement changes. As they put it, "these changes will enable us to to meet the evolving needs of our print and digital audiences  while continuing to provide Northeast Ohio with the most comprehensive and up-to-date news and information 24/7". There you have it, we asked for it and now The Plain Dealer will go through hoops to give us what we want. The Dear Readers letter  is brilliant. Essentially we will be screwed without a kiss but we will enjoy every minute of it.

This morning, after going through the Sunday edition of The Plain Dealer, I suddenly realized what all that gobbledygook in the letter was about. I got through the paper in less than 30 minutes and didn't feel much more informed than when I started. Getting along with the local rag 3 days a week will not be so traumatic. My needs have indeed evolved and The Plain Dealer is only a minuscule part of them. So, will I cancel my subscription? Hell no! The High Primal has veto power over subscription decisions - enough said.

I didn't mention that the letter had no information about what changes there will be in the cost of a subscription. Apparently we loyal subscribers will receive a personal letter which will break the news gently. I'm betting that in order to receive The Plain Dealer's version of "comprehensive news and information 24/7', I'll have to shell out a few more bucks. That's what getting screwed is all about.

(This being Memorial Day weekend, I can't help but wonder how long it will be before we commemorate the death of printed news.)

Restoring Order

My blog has absolutely no effect on restoring order to the world. In spite of my ranting and raving, the NRA still rules this country, Obama's liberalism has yet to flower, war is still a way of life  - or should I say a bloody instrument of population control and  last but by no means least, Chief Wahoo is still held hostage by the Cleveland Indians. I don't feel bad, not even disappointed. I never really set out to change the world. Hell, these days I have enough trouble changing myself.

 Over the weekend I discovered that I'm still capable of restoring order to something - my garage. It was hard work but the results were great. The junk is piled up for disposal, the outdoor furniture is outdoors, the Weber is ready to be fired up and  everything else is where it belongs including the car.

In spite of the crap I read on today's front page, I'm at peace with my surroundings. Oh yes, I'm still getting home delivery of the local rag but I'm betting the ranch that in spite of their claims to continue home delivery three times a week, by the end of the year there will be no paper by the garage door. I guess that would be in keeping with the emphasis on going green. Everyone wants me to go paperless including the newspaper publisher. I haven't heard from Charmin yet.

Apologies To The Plain Dealer

Yesterday's post, "Shame On The Plain Dealer" went too far in criticizing The Plain Dealer's plans for curtailed home delivery. What I didn't learn from the early releases of the announcement is that their plans also include an E-Edition which lets you navigate a replica of the printed newspaper. As I understand it, you can flip through pages and skim headlines just as you would with the printed newspaper in your hands. Articles, photos, games and comics can be viewed with the click of a button. Cleveland.com and the E-Edition are separate entities.

If this is like the New York Times e-edition the change will be palatable. Still if one is not computer literate they are screwed. At best, The Plain dealer is joining the forces that say don't worry about today's seniors, they won't be around very long. Our business plan should focus on tomorrow's seniors who were brought up with an I - phone or Android as a pacifier.

Thanks to John Kroll, On Line Editor of The Plain Dealer, for setting me straight on the E-Edition.

Shame on The Plain Dealer

The Cleveland Plain Dealer finally dropped the other shoe and announced today that it will deliver papers only three times per week, but it will print every day. This rip off of subscribers will take place this summer. As a subscriber for home delivery, I will be given the privilege of accessing cleveland.com to read the paper on  non-delivery days. cleveland .com is one of the worst web sites I have encountered. Just when things are looking up for Cleveland, The Plain Dealer is reminding all that Cleveland's glory days are not destined to return. Of course, The Plain Dealer sees it as an opportunity for innovation. They can start by coming into the twenty-first century themselves and design a web site worthy of being called an e-paper. Lost in all this is the fate of the independent contractors who deliver the paper. I wonder how many will continue to do so. How long will the three times per week delivery be viable? Can't wait for an entrepreneur to give The Plain Dealer some competition.

I've gotten used to reading my news on the computer. The High Primal has not. HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT. SHAME ON THE PLAIN DEALER.

Come this summer the paper will be delivered three times a week ( if I continue to subscribe) and the mail will be delivered five times a week. What a way to run a railroad.

God Save The Plain Dealer

Sunday morning - oh what a beautiful morning! The temperature outside is soaring. The leaves have the lawn to themselves; the election lawn signs are gone . Best of all, The Plain Dealer is sitting out on the lawn challenging me to pick it up. Alongside, bursting at the seams is the Sunday New York Times.

The Newspaper Guild is using today's Plain Dealer to launch its campaign to keep the paper a 7-day-a-week  publication . I can just see the headline - CLEVELANDERS ASKED TO PICK UP PLAIN DEALER.

Being civic minded I picked up the The Plain Dealer. The headline screamed, What's ahead for the Buckeye state? Was this a subtle way to alert readers to the possible 3-day a- week delivery schedule. No, it was referring to some political gobbledygook.  The Newspaper Guild's campaign didn't  make the front page. I finally found a half-page ad on page 10  telling readers that they will be missed if The Plain Dealer continues to cut back on news coverage. It was a crummy, anemic ad - hardly eye catching. Still it was probably appropriate for the staff of a shrinking newspaper ( I wonder what the Newhouse heirs charged for the ad). The Guild also referred readers to a Facebook page where they can get information on how to express their feelings and contact the paper's owners. That seemed strange - it's the likes of Facebook, and Twitter that are causing newspapers to rethink their role as an information vehicle. I know one thing: I'm not friending anyone else on Facebook, I can hardly handle the few friends I have now.

I suppose the Guild feels like someone who is up shit creek without a paddle.They desperately need a life jacket. That life jacket is spelled M-O-N-E-Y as in S-U-B-S-C-R-I-P-T-I-O-N-S. Letters to the owners will not cut it. More income might do the trick but I would not hold my breath.

The hell with this, it's too depressing. I'm going back out and pick up The New York Times. I need to know more about the General and his biographer. Guess he never heard about the old saying, "don't shit where you work".

It's Saturday- got a paper

I got up earlier than usual this morning. I tossed and turned all night, wondering if The Plain Dealer  ran off the presses during the night. Even before I made the coffee, I stumbled to the garage, hit the door opener, drew a deep breath and prayed that a paper would greet me by the door. Crap! No paper! Just a bunch of wet leaves. The SOB's must have gone to their 3-day a week schedule. I was about to retreat to the warmth of the house when I decided to venture further down the driveway. What was that white object peaking through the leaves, 20 yards into the wet lawn?  I slogged over and sure enough, The Plain Dealer had made it to the vicinity of my home. If this was to be my carrier's new delivery mode, a 3-day a week delivery might not be too bad.

ed note: Finished reading the shrinking wet, hard copy of the newspaper before I finished my first cup of coffee. Got to my computer and spent the next half hour reading all the news that's fit to print. That story about the horny spy was great.

No paper this morning, it's only Friday

Now and then I like to write about things which have a special place in my memory. It looks like I may be doing some reminiscing about 7-day-a-week local newspapers. WKYC- Cleveland reports that rumors are circulating that The Plain Dealer is contemplating a possible change to a 3-day-a-week print edition and continuous website similar to what has already taken place in papers in Alabama, Michigan, New Orleans, Harrisburg and Syracuse. WKYC reports that if The Plain Dealer goes to that type of business model that would make Cleveland the largest U.S. city with no daily paper.

In response to these rumors, there will be the usual billboards, bus placards, petitions and community pleas to convince the decision makers that Cleveland deserves a 7-day-a-week local newspaper. I can just see the CEO of Advance Publications, The Plain Dealer’s parent company, smugly saying that he agrees but the bottom line doesn’t.

Local 1 of the Newspaper Guild wants the community to get involved to save the newspaper. In the face of adversity a community should get involved. In this case all they have to do is subscribe to the paper. They don’t have to read it. They can still get all the news they want from their I-phone, I-pad or any other electronic device they have. Subscribing however, costs money. Most people will opt for signing petitions  while continuing to get their news from the internet or some comedy show.

I predict that in lieu of national recognition for a sports team, Cleveland will opt to become the largest U.S. city with no daily paper. Heck, everyone will be talking about Cleveland.

What about that business model of a 3-day a week newspaper and a continuous website? First the website. Just go to www.cleveland.com and you will never go there again. A paper only 3 days a week? If I can’t have it 7 days a week , they can wipe their ass with it. What do you hear about The New York Times?

I remember when a newspaper was delivered to my doorstep 7 days a week and……… I’m being premature. I shouldn’t reminisce based on rumors. I probably should look around for a smart phone. Let’s see, Apple, Motorola or Samsung? Can you have a leisurely breakfast and use a smart phone at the same time? The classifieds should be able to help. Damn it - where’s The Plain Dealer when I need it.

The Devil Made Them Do It

Being a creature of habit, I must have my morning newspaper and a cup of Folgers’s ( Melita and 8 O’clock are also acceptable) black coffee every morning. Like most red blooded Americans or if you prefer 99percenters, the paper of choice is the local rag - in my case The Plain Dealer. I understand that blue blooded Americans, better known as 1percenters, prefer The Wall Street Journal along with their Starbucks Cappuccino. Before the reader dismisses this missile as another class warfare rant, please be advised that the opening was what my Italian ancestors referred to as a “botta” or a slam couched in some civil words. Now that the “botta” is out of the way, let me get to the purpose of this post.

As I took my second sip of 99percenter coffee and flipped the pages of the paper over to the “Opinion” page ( I used the plural of page even though the number of flips involved in today’s shrinking newspapers are minimal - another “botta”!) my eyes wandered to the bottom of the page. Staring at me were the words “Justice Must Come Down On The Saints”.

I was startled. What in hell or better yet heaven had the Saints done? Was my patron saint Anthony involved. Had someone discovered that some saints were pedophiles? More to the point, what business did we have administering justice outside the boundaries of the United States. It didn’t work in Iraq and surely not in Afghanistan. There was only one way to find out - read the damn article.

What a relief! The Plain Dealer had excerpted an editorial which appeared in the Dallas Morning News. Texas, where  humans are executed like they were cattle, was calling for justice to come down on , not the heavenly saints, but New Orleans Saint football players.

After decades of violent football, someone went public with the news that the New Orleans Saints ran a bounty program from 2009 to 2011. The nerve of those Saints. They actually played football with the intent of hurting opposing players. No wonder that the Dallas Morning News was demanding justice. Everyone knows that the Dallas Cowboys play football as it should be played - beat the shit out of opposing players ( another “botta”).

It looks like the Saints got caught doing what everyone has been doing in the NFL for decades. Still, justice must be done. I suggest that the NFL require New Orleans to drop the name Saints and replace it with Devils. After all the devil made them do it. If harsher judgment is warranted, then the Saints should be required to play a football game without their protecting pads, in the Coliseum, against the Lions.

As for football, I would not buy stock in any NFL football team. The NFL has a death wish and they will not be satisfied until football goes the way of gladiator games. And that’s my “botta of the day”.

College Football Problems Trump Academics

Football is by far America's most popular sport. Whether it be high school teams, college teams or NFL teams, fans live and die by the successes or failures of their team. The coaches are as revered as a deity. Newspapers somehow find the newsprint to maintain a sports section not subject to shrinking news. Football stories find their way to the front page while "Rome burns". What does this get us? Football scandal!

 In every college football scandal there is a coach who became larger than the institution. When that happens, bad things are bound to happen.

Tatoogate at Ohio State University earns Coach Tressel a pass into early retirement. The University of Southern California using "professionals" posing as college athletes earns Coach Carroll a lucrative trip to a NFL head coach position. And now Penn State raises the bar on scandals by being caught in a sex scandal which has earned their legendary head coach , Joe Paterno, the retirement he never sought.

The sooner college sports programs become a part of the academic experience, and only that, the better. Sports scholarships should have academic qualifications attached to them. Athletes should be enrolled in meaningful academic programs. If the NFL needs a source of players, let them  organize a farm system Ala MLB.

Funny Pages

Some Funny Pages Favorites

While watching an old or more accurately a vintage movie, one of the characters made reference to “the funny pages”. Instantly I had a flashback to the days when comic strips ruled the Sunday edition of a newspaper and we couldn't wait to get to the funny pages of The Utica Observer Dispatch. The funny pages consisted of an entire section of the paper and the comics were actually funny unlike many of today’s comic strips which are more like soap operas.

I remember “Betty Boop”, my first love. Betty Boop was the darling of the Depression days and was one hot babe with her short dresses, high heels, a garter belt and a cleavage which would not quit. She would put our modern day floozies to shame. She was about as X-rated as we were exposed to in those days. Most of all she was funny.

And then there was ‘Bringing up Father” which featured the comic adventures of Jiggs. This comic strip told the story of Irish-American Jiggs, a former bricklayer, and his wife Maggie, an ex-laundress, who achieved sudden wealth, supposedly by means of a lucky ticket in the Irish Sweepstakes. While the snobbish Maggie and beautiful daughter Nora would constantly try to "bring up" Father to his new social position (much like the TV show “Moving On Up” of later years), Jiggs could think of nothing finer than sitting down at Dinty Moore's restaurant to finish off several dishes of corned beef and cabbage, followed by a night out with the boys from the old neighborhood. The strip featured flying rolling-pins, smashed crockery, and broken vases, all aimed at Jiggs's skull. Ha, ha ha!

Rivaling Jiggs as a ne'er-do-well was Major Hoople of “Our Boarding House”. “Our Boarding House” was a long-running comic strip set in a boarding house run by the sensible Mrs. Hoople. It chronicled the humorous interactions of her grandiose, tall-tale-telling husband, Major Hoople, with the rooming-house denizens and his various friends and cronies. The Major featured what looked like a Turkish fez on his head but probably was what distinguished gents wore atop their heads while relaxing in the evening.

For pure he-haws, Lil Abner took the prize. Lil Abner and his Pappy and Mama were hillbillies who lived in Dogpatch. I guess if I carried the hillbilly stigma I wouldn’t have found the strip so funny. Speaking of strip, Daisy Mae as a sex-pot almost rivaled Betty Boop. Of all the characters in this comic strip, joe btfsplk was my favorite. There was a black cloud over his head wherever he went. If anything was going to happen it happened to joe. I imagine Barack Obama might have a special attachment for joe btfsplk.

Characters you could find in the neighborhood were very popular in the funny pages. Mutt and Jeff were comic-strip characters that the Laurel and Hardy series could very well have been based on. They were two working-class men -- drinking, gambling, and getting in hot water with their wives. Mutt was a tall, lanky man with a penchant for the ponies, while Jeff looked like the Monopoly man after a rough weekend.

As youngsters we could fantasize with “Freckles and His Friends” Freckles was a junior in high school. His exploits with the Shadyside High football team were followed closely. Much to my surprise I discovered that a Shadyside High School does exist in Ohio.

Of course there were other entertaining comic strips. Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers and Blondie all provided good entertainment for a Sunday morning.

The stripped down newspaper of today has little room for comic strips. Our local paper, The Plain Dealer, calls it comic pages DIVERSIONS. Probably because most of the strips are not funny. As I indicated earlier, it appears that more and more strips are devoted to personal and social issues. Blondie and Dagwood have survived and for that I’m grateful. Actually there are a lot of funny things in today’s paper. Not the comics, but the national news. Political news and maneuverings provide for a number of funny pages.

Reminiscing about funny pages also reminded of something else that was important to my upbringing. I got to enjoy the funny pages because no matter how austere the times were, my father made sure we had a newspaper in the house even though he didn‘t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. My parents were immigrants without the benefit of much formal education. Pop got to learn and read English through night school and a tour in the Army during World War I. My mother learned by reading the paper. How she managed this has always been a mystery to me. She learned to read a newspaper in the English language without the benefit of any schooling! Her favorite section? The obituaries.

Newspapers in our house served other need besides providing information. Wrapping garbage in newspapers was routine. The crummiest garbage was reserved for any stories about Republicans. Newspapers also followed me to school. They were excellent for wrapping my delicious pepper and egg sandwiches (much to the consternation of my sister). That’s right, sandwiches not sandwich.

In spite of computers, smart phones, tablets and whatever else in the Apple labs, I hope newspapers will continue to have an important place in our lives. They have certainly made my life better.