On Aging And Caregivers

As life expectancy keeps inching up, it follows that health issues will become increasingly challenging. A ninety year old wracked with pain from arthritic,  barking knees and a back on its last few discs, finds it a bit difficult to celebrate victory over actuary tables. The problems of old age are further compounded when one's lover is no longer in the picture. Those fortunate enough to be sharing the challenges of old age with their spouse at their side, find the battle easier to cope with. The priorities of a relationship change. As the High Primal shared in her blog, "The older you get, the more you become a caregiver rather than a lover". A loving caregiver is worth two lovers anytime, anywhere.

This is not to say that longer life expectancy goes hand in hand with a debilitating illnesses. On the contrary, having a high primal, loving caregiver throughout life can indeed make a crotchety, low primal the envy of his juniors. More importantly, becoming a loving caregiver in turn, is a sure way to tolerate old age. In the meantime, the hell with the actuary tables.   

More About Low Primals

Occasionally in my posts I have used the term "Low Primal" when making a distinction between low and high primal thinking (What is a high primal thinker? Check the link). I recall writing a post explaining the origin of this term. A search of this blog revealed no such post. Of course, considering my frequent changes it may very well have ended up on the scrap heap. The later is a hint about a disease common to Low Primals - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder concerning the status quo. My OCD could very well be the subject of another post unless I change my mind. Just what is a Low Primal? Well it turns out that a characteristic of Low Primals is that they keep good records. In this case I kept a hard copy of the the aforementioned lost post so I have decided to resurrect it.

In this household I’m referred to as the Low Primal. Who would give me such a moniker? The High Primal Thinker, of course. I discovered this quite by accident. OK, I was peeking at some notes the High Primal wrote to herself (short term memory problems require that a High Primal have notes). There staring me in the face was: "need to discuss this with the Low Primal". Low Primal? I know what a High Primal is but what in hell is a Low Primal? It turns out that a Low Primal thinker is - surprise - the opposite of a High Primal Thinker.

A Low Primal Thinker is prone to make decisions, thus the note. A Low Primal is also very practical and pragmatic. The High Primal would also have me emphasize that a Low Primal tends to embrace new technology. Unfortunately, as the term would imply, a Low Primal shies away from historical facts and can watch a movie he saw a month ago and think he is watching it for the first time. Even worse, a Low Primal thinks that a neat desk is a virtue and that after loading a dishwasher the door does not need to be meticulously cleaned. All in all, a Low Primal is a very normal person. (If a Low Primal is normal, what does that make a High Primal? No Low Primal worth his salt would answer that question.) Most importantly a Low Primal is attracted to a High Primal and together they manage to survive in life’s jungle. How’s that for low primal thinking?

Now that I have set the record straight, there is a distinguishing trait between High Primals and Low Primals that should be noted. Its about the grin that takes place after a blunder on the part of a Low Primal or a High Primal. The Low Primal will respond with a smirk but the High Primal will break out with a shit-eating grin. Both demonstrate smugness but the High Primal's grin is much more devastating. Is this important? Not really - just some trivia.

Now that the record has been set straight I can return to some "serious blogging". On the other hand (my favorite cliche), why not forget about the "serious blogging" for awhile and just have some fun writing. Considering the mess that the world is in right now this isn't such a bad idea. Low Primals know their limits. At the moment this Low Primal is overwhelmed with the intricacies of controversies internationally and domestically. Any ranting on his part would be an exercise in futility. Solving the world's problems does not a Low Primal make.

The Internet Has No Soul

Recently the High Primal decided that we should send some "get well" flowers to a dear niece of ours. As High Primals are prone to to do, she instructed the Low Primal to get his ass on the Internet and accomplish the task ( which was obviously not worthy of the intellect of a High Primal). The Low Primal went to a web site specializing in delivery of flowers to all corners of the earth.  After much one way discussion , a suitable flower arrangement was picked out for delivery to our niece in Rochester, N.Y. The High Primal left to dream up other tasks to keep the Low Primal occupied during the day.

As instructed, the Low Primal started to navigate the floral web site hoping to eventually place a bona fide order. He finally concluded that Columbus had an easier job navigating to the Indies. It became obvious to the Low Primal that he could not place an order without divulging all sorts of personal information designed to harass him in the future. True to the traditions of Low Primals he made a monumental decision. The hell with the Internet- get in the fucking car with the High Primal and drive to the local florist.

Once at the florist, the High Primal and the Low Primal were assisted by a little old lady with heavy mascara around her wrinkled eye lids. When it came time to write up the order it became obvious that perhaps ordering the flowers via the Internet wasn't such a bad idea. The tip off was the little old lady trying to make out a printed address ( in large type) that the Low Primal had given her. She was having trouble because she couldn't see! Finally the glasses hanging around her neck were put to use and some semblance of an order was written up. Noticing the consternation of the Low Primal, she informed him that she had macular degeneration in one eye and a cataract in the other. She planned to do something about the cataract in the near future. Defensively, she was quick to add that her opthamologist had informed her that her vision was fine (he probably told her that her vision was fine except for the cataract and the macular degeneration.). The order finally got written up. More accurately, the order finally got scribbled up.



As High Primals are prone to do, she sweet talked the sweet little old lady throughout the whole ordering process. In return, the little old lady made the High Primal's day. After admonishing the Low Primal for not buying flowers for his spouse on International Woman's day, she presented the High Primal with a beautiful rose. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the flowers we ordered are on their way to Bosnia instead of Rochester. Regardless, I'll have to remember that the sweet little old lady saved my ass on yet another "day" designed to make florists rich.


After much meditation, the Low Primal had to conclude that even if the flowers ended up in Bosnia the whole experience at the florist had proven that although ordering flowers on the Internet might be more efficient, the Internet had no soul.

This post has gone on longer than I had planned, but according to the High Primal, sometimes long is better than short. She quickly added, that less is better than.more, which leaves the Low Primal in a quandry. FINIS!!!!